A Beautiful Mess

I don’t want to go through with this. I wish they were here.

2012-02-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

After so many months of I guess you could call it, running away and hiding – it sure as hell seems like it though involuntarily – it’s time to actually face the music. And guess what, as much as it astounds me, I am actually scared. I’m scared of seeing what I have already known and come to accept of the last couple of months. I thought I have made peace with it. I mean, I have, just that, it’s been through a medium I suppose.. The internet if you will. And now, soon, irl. In real life. Call me a conventional person, but I like a lot of things old school. Like, I prefer to get my news off the newspaper rather than the internet, and if I had a choice, I’d be watching all my TV shows on the TV and not on my laptop. So yeah, with this, I guess the last two months of “accepting” it didn’t entirely feel real, or it had not dawned onto me.. like the deal wasn’t sealed in terms of coming to terms with it.

Today, it was just really weird for me. I was already scared enough as it was, and then the talk. It was a good talk, moving on as if it was all in the past that has been forgotten. I was glad that we could still be friends. All I can really say about it was that, it was good. But on the other side of it, it added to the shitload of scared I was feeling. I hate it. Why must it be this way? I don’t want to go through with this! I want to be happy! I just want to run away all over again. Things were so good for me in the last couple of months. I miss that, having the people who made me feel like there wasn’t a care in the world around me all the time. I miss them. :’( I really do. They made everything seem easier and more bearable, and they took my mind off things. And with them, I felt, loved. Gosh this is gonna make me sound so foreveralone, but here I do feel loved by my friends as well, but I know they must be partial as they know him too. So it’s different from the people back home :<

The worst part of being away from them is, I don’t know how to express myself to them. They don’t understand how I’m feeling or why I’m feeling this. I just can’t explain it to them. And yet, I am dying to tell them. Only cause I need to tell people these things. I need to know what to do next. I guess I am dependant on them. I trust them and I know that telling them lifts the burden even if it’s just a little bit. But I feel bad for burdening them with my crap >.< sigh… another downfall for being so far away, is that I can’t talk to them whenever I wanted to like I used to be able to. I would have to depend on when they come online and I cannot be that selfish to expect them to be at my back and call to come online whenever I needed them. They have their own lives to lead. And the number one thing at the moment would be that the people who would really talk to me about this in all seriousness, are not coming online any time soon as they are too busy with their lives atm. >.< Don’t get me wrong I did talk to some of em, but you(one of em) gotta admit, that wasn’t much of a discussion :/So here I am, scared. Oh lord what am I gonna do. I don’t want to go through with this. I want to close my eyes and sleep in my bed until it all goes away.

Now, the three days plus I’ve been back, I realised something. I am no longer keen like I was last year rather, I want something more. I was even still keen during the summer break and would not have minded fulfilling the challenge Barney gave me. But now, I don’t think I am anymore. I’m tired of it. No, I am not desperate, I’m just gonna let things flow out, but I will refrain from the things 2011 me would do. I’m no prude, but yeah. I even hate myself for writing out this last paragraph, but felt I just had to.

Twisted/sprained whichever both my ankles with high wedges and uneven ground. The left more than the right.Totally regretted it and shit so embarrassing having to walk everywhere with this. It really does still hurt but thank god not as much as it did last night where I could barely walk. Now it’s more of a slight limp though, as the pain is more bearable. Still hurts like a bitch though. And I signed up for cheerleading. Holy shit what did I just get myself into. dammit. Hope it’ll be fun :S

Oh and I gots myself a new phone! My IPhone was giving me shit, not letting me call or receive texts, so I got a new phone which I am very happy about. I got it on Valentine’s day. I officially sound so foreveralone.Great. But anyway, I thought a new phone would be like a good new start for me. A new year with new beginnings. That’s the motto Shaunnie & I somewhat came up with for ourselves which isn’t too unique, I know, but is relevant to us :)

Aren’t you a charmer..

2012-02-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

{RANDOM TITLE-UNRELATED TO THE POST}

I absolutely loved the display at the Louis Vuitton outlet in The Gardens some time in January :)

No matter how far apart we are, how long a period since we last talked, I always do miss you. Even though more often than not, I am the kind who won’t take shit from people, my downfall is that when I get close to people, it is almost impossible to let go, regardless of how thin the thread of our friendship is. I wish things would stay the same as how it once was, cause those were one of the happiest days of my life, but I have to live in the heart breaking reality that all that is, and will stay in the past. Things change, and people change. And we do not necessarily like the change, so we hold on to the comfortable; grasping on it, hoping that it would go back to the way things were. But after a while, you come to a sad realisation, that things will never be the same again. So we move on with a heavy heart, one foot at a time. This will be my downfall indeed.

“Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get , the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.”

- By: Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune

The longer I pondered upon it in my mind, the more unsettled I felt about it. What with me being able to see, spend time and talk to the people I love so easily, I couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to do so for so long. Maybe that is just me in Malaysia talking, cause I certainly did not feel this way a couple of months ago. But all that matters is that I feel that now. It worries me about the future. I want to grow old with these people. I want to be able to meet up for drinks every now and then, relieving the many memories of our youth, not meet up only like, once a year and I sit on the side-lines while everybody else laughs at a memory I was not a part of. The most horrible of feelings, feeling left out. That is why, I have decided to come back to KL for a month after the coming semester. I feel so bad that it costs so much, but I feel even worse not being able to come back. I really am determined to work as much as I can to help subsidise everything >.< *

[drew+edit myself :) ]

I really do <3 Wongfu Productions. Their work is just so, creative. They took the road less taken for Asians and they are such an inspiration for me to pursue my own dreams. I would definitely love to meet and work with them one day. +, they’re Asians ;) ha. ha. ha. ha. XD

I really love this necklace combo. Been wearing it every chance I get :3 And also floral patterned clothes!

And I do like how my fringe has grown out :3 It’s been a reeeaaalllyyyy long time since I actually liked my hairstyle at the time. I’ve missed my long hair dearly, having maintained a short hairstyle for the whole of 2010 and slowly growing it out in 2011. That’s just me being random gushing C:

I have such an attractive bunch of friends :) Definitely can’t live without ‘em :P

I love taking photos during sunset. The colours are just the prettiest :3 and I didn’t even need to edit the photos ^^

* My Aussie friends would all be going back to see their families anyhoo, which would leave me, alone if I were to not come back to KL in the semester break. Just sayin, in case it was misinterpreted that my Aussie friends weren’t a reason to stay back.

Love is insane

2012-01-18T01:02:00.001+08:00

When you find hope, in new beginnings,
Cause you desperately need to feel new feelings.
The slightest of hints is enough,
Also when your heart is full of love.
The twitch of uncertainty,
Triggers you fully.
No, you are not back at the starting line,
But a new race where you are blind.
Mysteries lie ahead of you,
But your wounds have hardened you too.
With people who love you as backup so strong,
I now know that I can never go wrong.
I feel the love though unromantic,
By the people who clichéd enough are that fantastic.
Protective they are to prevent me from pain,
But the crazy nights we share are purely insane.
Only meeting in 2010, from the bottom of my gut,
I can safely say, that I love them with all my heart.

To the moments I hardly remember, With the people I’ll never forget

2012-01-07T01:50:00.003+08:00

So I’ve realised, I neither wrote much about what happened when I was in Aussie, nor posted pictures of my friends there. It’s always been more of my friends from Msia. So, I decided to change that. I’ve chosen one pic from every time we took pictures in somewhat a summary of my semester and of my friends in Aussie :) I honestly do miss ‘em and can’t wait to see them all and hangout with them again. Hanging out in Lewis’ room with Barney & Lara not leaving till late having *convos*.. Maccas runs.. Calling Lewis Shewis… Being bugged by Barney for dinner and a rimmer.. Ahh.. I do miss those times lots.. :P Talk about not having the best of both worlds :/ Oh btw, these photos are just the gist of the events and some of my friends. There’re more I don’t have photos with :/

Barney & the Balloon

Lewis & Lara @ the Village Carnival

Xanthe’s Superhero 18th (Joe, Ash, Xanthe, Tom Watts, Humble, Chantelle, John & Shaiye)

Random w/e with Humble, Barney, Marty, Lara & Lewis

Barney Wan Kenobi & Humble (can’t think of a name for him)

Jordan, Ash Joe & Rhys & I showing Humble what a faggot he was being :P

Larry & Lew-Lew <3

4 hours journey for Joe’s 18th :) + My first time to Bunbury & Manjimup (Ash, Nick Clifford, Marty, Barney)

When Pre’s aren’t just Pre’s for the Suit Up Party (Barney, Matt Proctor, Jack Young, Xanthe)

Mad Sick party @ Siobhan’s all the way in Rockingham (Coral, Xanthe, Shaiye, Barney)

Studio lights w/ Lara, Lewis, Humble & Barney

Awesum girls day out shoppingggg <3 Xanthe

Friggin awesum Halloween night @ the Newport ^Lewis & Lara

Lookin’ a bit seedy, no worries. ;) – One variety too many w/ Lara, Lewis, Humble, Barney & the high school gang!

I finally made it to Mudrock this semester! w/ Xanthe, Leon Hayward, Shaiye, Humble, Lewis & Marty

Just random chaos (besides the bumholes) during Pre’s of Triple Crown – Ash, Gianni & Shaiye

Leaving Australia with an extremely heavy heart :’( <3 Lewis & Barney

I actually find it pretty funny that probs cause I’m the only Asian around most of the time, I get the most shit from everyone (Marty’s a Hasian anyway so he doesn’t get it as bad as me) lol annddd even though we don’t treat each other any differently, it astounds me sometimes that they’re a year younger o_o apparently I look younger than my age which is lucky I suppose……. :/ Regardless of being one of the oldest, it does not bother me nor does it make me feel any younger. T.T but rather the contrary lol.. so love em. :)

I honestly can’t wait to go back.*

*this is one side of me talking not taking into account my family & friends in Msia

If you love me let me go back to the bar in Tokyo

2012-01-02T18:56:00.001+08:00

Okay, so I initially wrote something else related to the topic of today’s blog post, but I didn’t like it. It’s not that it isn’t true, it totally is, but when I write stuff for my blog, it usually flows and comes out easily. What I wrote just now on the other hand, I had so much trouble thinking of the right words, that it made me not like the whole thing lol. So, I decided to get right to the point;

I have so many guy friends, but subconsciously, I am closer to those who are single. It’s not that I want it to be that way, but I am just too weary of how their girlfriends would perceive of me. Regardless, I do still try to maintain a decently close friendship with them, but sometimes, my efforts are futile. I have accepted the fact that having a girlfriend would mean less time with your bros, I totally get it. But when that “less time” is practically “no time”, I question myself, “Why do I even bother?” Perhaps that is why now, when my guy friends get girlfriends, I feel somewhat, abandoned. Don’t get me wrong, I am full-heartedly happy for them, how can I not be? But the self-centred side of me is thinking that I am losing someone who was close to me and we wouldn’t be as close as we used to be. In the past two months, I’ve had four guy friends and one girl friend get into relationships. Can’t deny that makes me feel a tad bit forever alone. :/ In both my college and uni group of friends, I am the only unattached girl. Wow thanks a lot, Universe. Really appreciate it. Only in my high school group of friends we’re all single. :) I will never stop anyone of my friends from getting in a relationship cause I could never allow myself to stand between them and happiness. But I can’t help but feeling what I feel inside. You may say in response something like, “You should find a boyfriend”. My response to that?

Do you think I am purposely not getting a boyfriend? It’s not that I don’t want one, but I’m not desperate either. If one comes along, then good, otherwise, I’m fine being single. :) There was no way else to say that without sounding like a sour grape, but oh well… I shall just post what I initially planned to say but didn’t like anyway.

The opposite sex can be friends. And when I say friends, I mean really good close friends. I know of people who would beg to differ, saying that something would most definitely be going on between the two, but I say it doesn’t necessarily have to happen like that. A girl and guy can be the bestest of friends without being in a relationship. Sure at one point or another, one of ‘em would have feelings for the other, and if a relationship blossoms, so be it but if it doesn’t, they’ll get over it and realise how un-romantic their feelings actually are.

Definitely don’t like it ^.. –__-

Next, it’s 2012!! This year I watched the fireworks really up close on the rooftop of The Gardens mall outside Vertigo club. We were so close that everything was bigger and brighter and the sparks from the fireworks were flying into the crowd! Crystal got hit by one lol she said it hurt though. Probs she’s lucky? Anyway watching the fireworks with glassy eyes, the whole of 2011 flashed right before me. All the things I’ve been through, the things I’ve learned, the people I have met, the things that have changed. I’ve learned to live on my own and be independent and grow up. 2011 has opened my mind up to so many things I never in my right mind would have thought I’d face in 2010. With all that running in my mind as I awed the fireworks, it almost made me tear. It really hit me, that 2011 was a really good year and the most eventful I must say.

Here’s to a new year with new beginnings. :) I can’t wait to be back in Perth yet at the same time, I don’t want to leave my friends and family here. But I can’t ignore the inevitable, that this time, when I go to Perth, I highly doubt I will be coming back between the first and second semester, Winter break. I’m afraid, of the thought of not being able to see my family and friend for one whole year. I salute those who have done it. I guess it’s cause during the winter break I know all my friends will be going back to their hometowns and I will be left in the village.. :S Never mind! I will work my ass off during that time to earn money and save up! I know I’ll need it more than ever. Hopefully I will have all my TV shows to keep me company :/

btw my title is cause I’m listening to The Wombats now. Super Uber psyched for Future Music on the 4th of March!! Early birthday prez for myself? Can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait! XD

OMG I am gonna be twenty this year omfg!!!! No longer an age starting with a ONE.. omgomgomg 20!!! I can’t believe it! Barney and I are supposed to do something special since his birthday is a day before mine. No idea what we’re gonna do, but hopefully it’ll be fun whatever it is :)

Ignore the next part if you are lazy to read cause it’s just an article of some sort which I wanted to share :)

Recently, Melody shared something on Facebook and it almost made me tear at how much I related to ever single thing this person wrote. I highly urge you to read How To Survive Living In A Foreign Country. To those who do live in a foreign country, relate. To those who know of someone who does, understand. If you’re too lazy, here is the article;

Allow yourself to miss things: food, clothes, being able to communicate easily. Don’t allow yourself to miss: narrow thinking, getting bored, feeling trapped.
Learn the language but don’t get upset with yourself if it’s difficult and takes time to master. Enjoy the period where you can sit in coffee shops and restaurants and not have to block out inane chatter. It’s effortless when it’s all gibberish.
Get used to the problems of the country not really being your problems. You don’t have a say in them, so it’s easier if you just accept them as they are — out of your control. Don’t worry, it’s an easy feeling to get used to; it actually becomes comforting.
Use the Internet and watch it become even more amazing than it already is. Used together with a little improvisation, you can get almost anything you would be consuming back home — music, movies, books, food, clothes. Almost everything. Where I live the foreigners talk a lot about missing good avocados. You get over it.
If you have a phone, call your family every week. It helps keep you feeling normal. It also pre-empts them from sending you emails complaining about your absence.
Take comfort in knowing that once you got beyond your country’s borders you already began winning. If you can stay out for at least a year than there’s a very real chance you’ll be able to stay out in the world indefinitely. I spent my first two decades in America. That’s a quarter of a normal life in the same country. More than enough. Once you get the foreign-life inertia in motion, the longer you stay away the easier it is to keep going.
Know that most places in the world where you would end up living for any real period of time can get you to an airport in a day. From there you should be able get home in one more day. You can live on the other side of the world and if something requires you to get home you can probably get there in no more than two days.
Give up on where you’re from but don’t give up on the people. Your friends back home won’t forget about you. They will move on with their lives without you, and they might resent you, but they will still listen to your stories if your stories are good.
On those days when a really simple thing could be easily handled if you were back home, and you get frustrated, and you start really wishing you could go back home — maybe you should do it. Maybe you should go back home and stay there. Maybe you don’t belong overseas. The frustrations are what teach you the most. But if you’re too strong or proud or stubborn for that, then try and remember that every day you live in a foreign country you get better at it. Every day you live abroad you learn something — about yourself, about the country you live in, and about how there is always more than one way to look at something.
Date someone from the country you’re living in. Or don’t. There is no certain way to go about this. It has caused mixed outcomes in my fellow expats. Almost always the relationship improves their understanding of the country and their facility with the language. It also without fail is the cause of no small frustration and trouble. Go forth at your own risk.
Plan on making friends that will stick. Living together in a strange place together binds you. The only problem with the friends you make is that they, like you, have caught a full dose of the itinerant lifestyle, and it won’t be long before they’re off to somewhere else.
Try to keep your head. Another country might make you forget who you are and where you came from, and maybe that’s what some of you want. That’s a big part of it. But no one ever fully escapes where they came from, or who they are, and once you come to terms with that you’ll be able to really enjoy yourself. It’s a good, interesting life if you can handle it.

Why do I do this to myself? ><

2011-12-23T01:41:00.001+08:00

Ever since I came back, I’ve been on TV series marathons. I started continuing The Vampire Diaries and when I finished till the latest episode, I moved on to Pretty Little Liars and then The Secret Circle. Gosh I’m such a TV addict. Have been ever since a young age @_@ Omg I follow wayyy too many TV shows now.. 1. Gossip Girl 2. How I Met Your Mother 3. The Big Bang Theory 4. Supernatural 5. The Vampire Diaries 6. Pretty Little Liars 7. The Secret Circle 8. Hellcats…. and not to mention those which I watch occasionally/already stopped, 9. House 10. Leverage 11. Glee 12. Lost 13. Heroes 14. New Girl oh gosh and the list goes onnn… @_@
I’ve realised, I always felt much better when people tell me the truth outright. Yeah it may be a slap on the face, but sometimes you just need to hear it. Sometimes you even know it, but you sugar coat it to not sound as bad as it actually does, or in other words, are in denial of it so when someone slaps the hard-hitting truth at you, you wake up. And because of the fact that I want people to be blunt with me when needed, I have decided to do that myself, with other people. No more beating around the bush, or worry about hurting the person’s feelings cause if I really care about him/her, I’d rip the bandage off all at once; get it over with quickly. Rather than me laying it down slowly, allowing the person to continue digging his/her own grave. If
I can’t stop 9gag-ing these few days!! Bitches be crazy mann.. It’s addictive as hell!! Omg

I just went onto 9gag to find one I liked recently, and I started 9gag-ing again –___-

^That is me every time I 9gag. fml.

Every time I think I’m alright, it all comes crashing down in a split second of a mistake. But this time, I hope it’s different. Cause I do feel alright. After a moment of panicky hysteria, I actually think that it’s finally over and I am finally through with it. :) I am no hypocrite and stand by what I said before, I don’t mess with guys who have girlfriends. Probably that is one of the things which helped me :/ Anyway as Chuck Bass said: “I only want you to be happy, I'm just sorry it couldn't be with me.” And besides, I think she’s nice :) And if she is who she seems to be, I already like her:) Pre top chick from what I can tell - Okay I sound like such a stalker >.<” Moving onnnnn…..

I just had to post this Chuck Bass pic. Too sexy to pass ;)

just a lil something I did with Kath’s tablet.. Love it :) I think I’ll do a series for this C:

Bangsar Shopping Village II = Prettiest Christmas deco for me :3

Me and my fringe. Ffs why do I do this to myself? Seriously.

This post is just so random. I don’t even have that blogging urge. I’m just posting it cause I don’t want all my hard work to go to waste. *facepalm*

Denise 101:

2011-12-17T01:29:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I get so frustrated at people for things that aren’t even their fault. Fact is, they just don’t know me, that’s why they subconsciously do things which pisses me off. Here’s few essential things I feel you should know, and I’ve realised people have assumed otherwise about me – which has pissed me off.

I don’t mess with guys who have girlfriends. So girlfriends, you can calm yo’ tits cause I ain’t gonna steal your boyfriend. In fact, if I meet a guy who I am interested in, and find out he has a girlfriend, it is immediately a turn off for me. I just love having guy friends and I am also known to be a girl who is “one of the guys” so yes, I will be surrounded by blokes, and I may even be close to your boyfriend, but rest assured, if I am close to your boyfriend, we are just good mates and I wouldn’t look at them that way. I assure you, I am all against people who cheat, and would hate to be the other girl. Fts the shit’s whacked.
1. I do not randomly add or accept people who:
I do however accept people who:
I am generally a very friendly person. So if you think I’m very touchy-feely, think again. I put my arm around people, hug people, and am relaxed around the people I know well. Closed minded people will think I’m making myself seem as though I am slutting myself out and deem my behaviour inappropriate. Here’s a news flash for those of you who think so; wake up and smell the roses cause it’s the 21st century. For frick’s sake, the sight of even the ankle used to be considered inappropriate at one point of time ages ago. It’s not like I’m molesting people or letting people feel me up! In relation to that, complaining about my “inappropriate” behaviour to my parents is not gonna get yourself in my good books. I understand you do not feel the same way as I do about the things I do, but it’s my life and I know what is right from wrong. Furthermore, if I were to post photos on Facebook, it’d definitely not be bad otherwise I wouldn’t let it get on Facebook in the first place.
I respect religion, I really do. But;

But I am a happy girli today cause I just got that Jasmine perfume from Body Shop today :DDD I love fruity & flowery smells :)

2011-11-29T03:44:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, you need to fall down before you can actually stand up again. Makes sense I guess, cause if you don’t hurt, you won’t heal. And you would have always been as you were - and I’d just imagine – a bulls eye of an invitation to injury. Healing builds up resistance. It toughens you. It may hurt like a bitch, but unfortunately, c’est la vie. It’s a long, winding, uphill battle. So, baby steps.

Sometimes the worst part is, you don’t know what to do cause all you feel like doing is cry. And you can’t. Cause you don’t want to talk about it. You don’t want to get the whole world involved. You don’t want to cause unnecessary anger. Unnecessary hatred and unnecessary drama. Yet, you feel like exploding, with all the pent up feelings you feel. All the hurt in your heart, all the tears in your eyes. The only solution: put on a mask.

Sometimes, the last resort is hope. Hope that it ends fast, hope that you stand up quicker, and hope that you stand up taller than before. To cheat is to find a replacement. {or rebound} Which I know is wrong, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Seems that I am not that desperate as I haven’t found one. Yet. But hopefully I don’t sink to such a level. Especially at the present time as I would just be weighed back in February. My life is not where it is now. Ouch, I know, but I have to be blunt. I am on holiday, and that is the reality of it.

Sometimes we just need a distraction. So far the distractions in my said life has been really good. I totally forget about it and actually feel happy. Even if it was just temporary, it was better than nothing. I miss it; my distraction. I will only be seeing like, half of it in 2 months plus, and the whole thing in like, 5 freakin months! T.T I haven’t met my holiday distraction yet, but I beg that it would be just as good. I need it. Oh so badly.

^{{Deeper than what it seems}}

I want this (without the ribbons) but with the words on me. Probably on my back? I wouldn’t know where else. Along with “no regrets” on my wrist. Both hold such deep meaning to me, so yeah I really want em.

I wish I was more

2011-11-16T00:53:00.000+08:00

Open up your heart
Help me understand
Please tell me who you are
So I can show you who I am

I’ve realised, I have a very big conscience. When I feel as if I did something wrong, I feel the need to make up for it. *cough cough keeping Barney from sleeping at 3am cough cough* > I don’t know what came over me! I wasn’t thinking straight. I wasn’t drunk, but I just wasn’t thinking straight. I was even being annoying! Barney is very keep-it-real, straight-to-the-point or in other words, blunt, which I like about him. It may hurt like a slap on the face or glass shattering, but I feel better knowing cause I would slowly accept what that person says, and learn from it. So for that night, Barney was trying to be nice, and it only kicked in when he said he didn’t wanna be mad at me.. I think I would have rather him tell me outright I was being a little annoying bitch so I would’ve stopped earlier.. It wouldn’t be an offence, well cause, we love each other like that ;) and I would’ve got it.. So yeah, that night I was sorta overwhelmed with guilt >< But I made it up to him by apologizing and cooking him dinner :D Saying that you’re sorry are words so simple, but means so much. Gosh I’m being so clichéd, I know.. but it’s so true! I guess my life is a whole cliché.. Anyway, yeah.. my conscience buries me with guilt and by apologizing, I feel heaps better. :3 Soz Barnaby! <3
I have never been one to be all gooey-lovey-dovey with someone. Even in a relationship I was never like that. Imy, Ily etc was normal, but I couldn’t stand pet names and written PDA. I have nothing against people who do it, it’s just that I personally would never. Die will be the day my boyfriend(future one) demands cuddly cute vomit-inducing couple stuff.. I’m speaking with a clean mind here, just clarifying myself. Anyhoo, probs it’s cause I haven’t been in a relationship in quite awhile and I’ve always had so many guy friends, that it sorta toughened me up. Guys, being guys around each other, and me always being “one of the boys”, a “bro” or “one of the lads” [I’d greatly appreciate “top chick” though :) ], conversations are hardly d&m with touchy-feely emotions and shit.. So yeah, I think I’ve sorta built a “bro mask” over my girly-girl-ness. Not saying guys don’t have d&m’s, they do, but not as often I spose.. And besides, blokes have muuuucccchhhh less drama and shit compared to girls.. They lead a more carefree, happy-go-lucky life; hence why I prefer to hang out with blokes more.. Cause I’m sick and tired of unnecessary drama. I don’t need that shit in my life, and I love my life now with the lads I’m friends with ;) I couldn’t have asked for more. <3
Next year I want to find a proper paying job and work my ass off. Besides subsidising my lifestyle and such, I wanna save up to travel. I want to travel Europe and parts of the US & Canada. I want to walk the streets of London, Admire the Mona Lisa in Paris & Go skiing in the French Alps, Explore the artistry and beauty of Venice, Florence & Rome, Party the night away in Madrid, Be caught in the middle of the hustle and bustle of New York City and Take in the wonders of the Niagara Falls in Ontario, to name a few :). Would be fun to go with friends, but either way, I’m cool going on my own. Ever since moving to Perth, I’ve definitely become much more independent especially in terms of living on my own and travelling, without having someone to look after me and settling matters for me. I pride myself in that certain aspect of myself now. It’s a change I am proud of :).
Moving to Perth, or Australia in general, I know I have changed. From me growing up, not having to depend on my parents to do so many things to my perception of life as a whole. So many things are different now. I am still my old self, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve changed personality wise.. And I don’t have a fake accent when I go back to Malaysia. Nevertheless, I have changed a lot this year. The things I view, the things I say and the things I do. Just a year ago, I could not in my right mind imagine I would change like this. If my old self met my new self, I’d think I was unreal and I’d be totally mind f*cked. The old me wouldn’t like the new me, but I like the new me. :3

“stergeron” - To live your life to the fullest. As in go big or go home. As in living life with no regrets. The word backward spells out "no regrets". This has to do with my whole life here. The new one. Doing what I really want with the fear of being judged constantly at the back of my mind. But fts, times are changing and you only live once. I definitely see things with a whole new pair of eyes and things are not as they appear to be as I was growing up anymore. It doesn’t matter what you do in life, all that really matters is how you feel about it. So I do what I want {as long as I don’t think it is wrong} in my life, with no regrets. Always. And if I do make mistakes like I’m bound to, being human, I will accept it, learn from it and move on from it.

to you.

Nothing more needed, Nothing more possible.

2011-11-08T01:07:00.001+08:00

Really, from the 28th till the 31st of October, I had THE MOST fun I have had in agesssss… I won’t go on describing every little detail cause like I have once mentioned I do not like to depict every event detail for detail like I used to do. Regardless of that, I do wanna mention what is it about the Friday-Monday which made me a very happy girli:)

Thursday night I slept at 4am staying up to prepare for my presentation for the next day+finishing up the report, on Friday I did my presentation>got my left index and middle finger taped together by Barney cause I jarred my index finger>went to the shops to buy groceries for when my friends came>did a photoshoot thing for my final portfolio with Xanthe, Josh and Brennain>started pres and all at the pool deck>went to the Newport and the rest of that night was just history. Lets just say it was good. Humble got in with a fake ID which didn’t even look like him! I was pretty psyched for that :D Left the Newport at about 1am, I think I only slept at about 3-ish? By 6.30am, I woke up and was wondering why the gang hasn’t called me yet.. As I was brushing my teeth though, Crystal called me!! I was so excited! Later when I went out to wait/look for them, and when I saw them, I squealed and ran to them!! Gosh I was sooooo happy to see them!

The next few days were a blasssttt with them.. I won’t go through it as I said before but I will say this; I did not get lots of sleep.. Besides Saturday but that’s besides the point XD

As a whole, I am humbled and touched by what you guys did for me; to be willing to spend so much and sacrifice so much, to come and visit me:) You guys couldn’t have done anything more than this for me. Wait, my sentence sounds wrong. I couldn’t have asked for anything more? Wtv you get my drift.

And to my Aussie friends, I am truly so grateful to have you guys as my friends here:) From Humble & Marty for driving us to the train station & accompanying us at the city, to Barney, Lara & Lewis for really making Saturday night an eventful one =x haha and Xanthe, Barney, Humble & Lewis for lending us sleeping stuff. Everyone was so nice my friends had nothing but nice stuff to say bout you all:D

What can I say, at this present time I feel blessed to have the friends I have with me now. Whether I live with them and they feel somewhat like my substitute family, or on another far away land and we skype and chat like we never parted. Counting my blessings always reminds me of the song Good Life by One Republic. I always think that song accurate depicts how I feel at that exact moment. Problems and worries always seem so remote when I’m with them. They are my true escape to wonderland and without them life would be such a drag of dull greys. A technicolour life I would say I live now. :3

When the thin line between Pain & Pleasure becomes blurry

2011-09-30T02:21:00.027+08:00

It looks so easy, so simple, so, nice. I ask myself, why don't I have that? Why Can't I have that? You make it so complicated and so out -of-reach. Are you trying to torture me? Dangling a rope down for me to use every ounce of strength I have to climb up? If you are not, cut the rope already! Don't tempt me with what I can't have cause I can't stop thinking about it. Memories are like the scars of my past. They haunt me, not letting me forget. But at the same time, I don't want to forget. Pain and pleasure definitely intewine one another. The pain of falling, the pleasure of loving.

I want that. Why can't you give me that? Is it too much to ask for?

Call me bipolar if you will, but I just can't help myself. I want you to stop this madness yet I don't want it to end. I am not a complicated girl. You should be able to see that for yourself already. So let me prove it to you. How easy and simple it really would be. From what I understand your experiences aged like milk, but let me reassure you, with me, it'd be like wine. Just give me a chance and I'll show you what good wine really tastes like. And if you don't like it, just put the glass down. No harm comes out from putting a glass of wine down, it just compliments the table and you could drink it again later on. Au contriar to when you put a glass of milk down, it'd just spoil, stink up the place and give you a tummy ache if you drink it again. Oh how I love the metaphors I come up with sometimes. So freakishly accurate.

I remember that night in different separate parts. The exact flow of the story is a blur to me now, but I can roughly piece it together. I was defenseless and helpless. From it being you plus how much I wanted it, shields and guards were not in my vocabulary at that moment. It made me so happy, so satisfied. The tenderness and the pain. Oh the pain. It made me want you to stop but I didn't want you to. Cause I wanted you. I was and am willing to go through that pain all over again if I could have you again. Those moments were the epitome of a mixture of pain and pleasure. I'm glad you knew what you were doing. You were gentle with me, which I was glad for and you did realise what I realised too. The only difference is that I now know why. I don't regret that night we spent together, never will I ever, but I must admit it wasn't the best it could be. That would be because in my mind, I knew you weren't mine, and you didn't prepare me enough. I wish you did, and I hope you will if it does happen again. Cause from personal experience, it should have been much easier. I'm no slut, I stand by my ground on that statement. Clichéd as it may sound, you are my only exception.

I am ready. I’m just waiting for you.

2011-09-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

For your answer which will determine which path I take.

I am ready. Are you?

Your touch will no longer make my heart race. Your voice will no longer send shivers down my spine. Your scent won’t make me wanna see your face. Your kisses won’t make me wanna make you mine.

And with that, I have lied to myself once more. It will take more than acceptance for you to not have any effect on me. Time is one of it. You will always be special to me, even when time has done its duty. I’d like to believe we shared something special. Though not an actual relationship, but something that kept bringing us together, or at least you to me. To share those intimate moments. Cause if there weren’t anything at all, I highly doubt anything would’ve happened to begin with. You may not have loved me, but you felt something for me. It’s sad to say I may have even loved you myself. I felt compelled to talk to you, to know you, to be around you. I wanted you in my life and I wanted to be in yours. Just being around you cheered me up and you were right, I’m never unhappy around you. No matter how much I try to help it. Some people may call it infatuation and that it isn’t love, but I have had my fair share of crushes and my fair share of being in love. I do think I can tell the difference between the two feelings by now. If not, I have wasted many years of my life. Perhaps everyone has their own interpretation of love, so this is mine. I do admit it sounds silly of me, seeing as I hardly even know you, but it is how I feel for you which made me want to know you better. Don’t you dare call it a crush. I know what I feel, and I know it is deeper and stronger than that.

So help me now. Help me get over you. I want to fall in love again. Preferably not to you this time, but to someone who feels the same way. Someone who makes me feel loved. Someone who makes me feel safe. Someone who I can be rest assured with that when I let my guards down with him, he’d be the one protecting me.

I know what I have to do, what I want to do and how I will do it. I just want answers to satisfy my burning curiosity. I am ready to accept them whatever they may be. No resentment, no grudges, no vendettas. Cause I can finally move on. You will no longer fuck me up as I would know what it all means. Whether or not you want any of it to happen with me again, fortunately for you but unfortunately for me, I am as I once mentioned, defenceless against you. I would still want it. The thing is, it only applies to you. You could call it, a soft spot. I would always have it for you until I find someone who I fuck up as much as he fucks me up ;). I can already assume what your answers would be but I just need you to tell me yourself. So spare me 5 minutes of your time. Let me go. I can’t move on until you do.

One thing you should know,

2011-09-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

is that I’m not weird.

I do however talk to myself every once in awhile whether in my head or aloud. You could buy my love if you bought me McVitie’s Digestive biscuits. I think being lame is cool, being random is awesome and being loud is a norm. I am absolutely attracted to formal wear - especially guys in suits ;) – I love shirts with the sleeves rolled up, ties,vests and blazers… *swoons*.. They make my heart melt :3 and I personally love wearing em too :). Chocolate covered pretzels are <3 and just basically any sort of chocolate really. Sarcasm is something I enjoy (though I have been told I don’t get it –.-). My life will forever be filled with clichés. Drama is like a hurricane for me where I get sucked into it unwillingly. The weather greatly affects my mood. Like when it is sunny, it does contribute to a cheerful me and vice versa.. lol.. I try so hard but every time I think I’ve done it, all effort is shattered by that one moment.

But all these are normal, so I stand by what I said before;

I try to get over you. I hardly even know you. Days pass by and I feel as if I have finally done it. Then you come round and fuck up all my effort. It makes me furious. It makes me not even look forward to seeing you. Knowing that you were gonna be around darkened my mood. When I finally saw you, that anger just disappeared miraculously. It wildly baffled me. So the anger was gone. And I accepted it. Then under the influence, my self-hatred intensified severely mixed with the feeling of longing for you which I did not get rid of like I thought I did, but unfortunately much to my despair, burry deep inside me. You see me, and again you fuck me up inside and out. It’s different this time. This time it’s worse. Cause I wanted it. It was wrong, but I wanted it oh so bad. And you gave it to me. I don’t regret it, only cause I’ve wanted it for far too long and I finally got it. But with it I realised. I realised that I am defenceless against you. Every barrier, every shield I put up against you, you break them down as if they weren’t even there. I want to know all of who you are and I want you to know all of who I am. I want to mean more to you than what you mean to me, but I’m starting to think that it would never happen. It hurts me so till the depths of my heart, but I want that to be a lie. And it would be the best lie I’ve ever told myself.

The worst part of it all? I would do it all over again.

You are my sweetest downfall

2011-09-19T19:56:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. I so have been neglecting my blog lately. I really do feel bad about it, cause I dislike visiting my blog and seeing like one or two old posts only. Boooo!!

Weak effort, Denise!

tsk tsk tsk *shakes head*

Well, so much has been happening but I don’t particularly feel like blogging about them events in particular? No idea why but I’ve lost that enthusiasm to blog about events now.. But I guess it makes sense to me whenever I console myself saying that,

maybe it’s just a coincidence, but the absolutely best memories are never recorded, and all we have to remind us of them, are our memories.

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Then again, you’re a great big ball a fuzz too, nise. Like seriously, always getting tangled up into shit unwillingly. Every single time I end up having to untangle you from your mess then BAM! You’re back to square one and you get yourself tangled up all over again! I am sick and tired of your crazy antics, Denise Tan! Man the f**k up!! Every single time you say that you’re over it, you say that you’re through with it, I believe you, I really do, but once certain influences come into the equation, you lose it, Denise. You just lose it. Enough is enough I must say. Especially after the last 24hours+ you went through, that was sure enough hell as it is. Pure torture I would say. Time to stand your ground and propose an ultimatum. I know you want to, but you’re afraid of the answer. You want to hold on to anything you can get. I must say that is sad. I truly do feel for you. The tears you hold back, the strong face you pull, I can see right through you. You wanna forget about this madness, wake up from this nightmare. Well, who could blame you? No one has a choice in situations like these. If we did I think we’d be invincible. You try not to think about it cause the feeling overwhelms you. And you are at your weakest and most vulnerable when that happens. Believe me, I would know. I also know that you don’t wanna put the blame on anyone cause hey, you know you’re partially at fault as well. *sigh* It’s time to move on, Denise. You’re as broken as a shiny new toy a toddler had fun playing with. And you know how well toddlers treat their toys. wow that was a nice but freakishly accurate metaphor I just made up :\

And the worst part about all this? I know you would do it all over again.

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

it’s not always rainbows and butterflies

2011-09-01T01:12:00.001+08:00

cause I really need a wish right now

cause I am invincible

cause I dream big

cause the sun will keep shining wherever I am

cause life goes on even if I don’t

cause life’s too short to be #!$%ed about everything

cause I am the girl with the broken smile

(lopsided, if you will)

So here’s the thing;

2011-07-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

June has been good to me. Mostly. Of meeting and hangin out with awesome friends both new and old. There was that MOTHER of all the awesome sem 1 parties just the weekend before I left Perth, the overwhelming feeling when I touched down on Msian ground and all them awesome meeting up/catching up with friends and family.

I just had to post this picture of Andrew & I. :P

That night was really epic much. (:

Packing to come back to Msia was no easy task I must admit. Mel & Greg sent me to the airport at about 4am (I am very grateful for that) and my flight back was no pleasant ride.. >< Nonetheless, I was overwhelmed with emotion when the pilot announced that we were landing soon, especially when he said “To those here to visit, welcome to Malaysia. To the residents(or citizens) of Malaysia, welcome home.” I couldn’t control the tears.. I mean, I love Aussie and all so so much and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but no matter how much Aussie is better than Msia, it’s still where my roots belong to. I have to clarify though, that Msia will always be my home country, but it may not be my future as I have doubts about working there. Just sayin. :/

I got back on June 13th, and I’ll do what I did for December 2010 (:

June 13th: I got back and was feeling very overwhelmed, seeing my family after 4 whole months. And even my doggiessss.. I’ve missed them sooo much.. The funny thing was, I wasn’t sure if they recognised me :/ They didn’t seem all that excited… :S But thankfully they were more excited the next day.. (:

June 14th: I watched X-Men: First class with my dad! :D Was super epic! Always loved the X-Men movies.. Ooh and I bought a 1TB external hard drive! It doesn’t need a power output though, which is good :D And the funny thing was, my dad let me drive home! I’ve been for the most of the whole year of 2010, and he has not sat in my driving even once, and just when I came back, and haven’t driven for 4 months, he suddenly let me. As I was exiting the mall, I asked him if he was nervous with my driving and he replied, “just keep driving”. LOL At night, I visited my grandparents for dinner, then around 10pm some of my Sunway friends came over to my house! Damn did it feel so good to see them all again. =>

June 15th: I met Kath, Rine, Crys & Gie! We went to Starbucks cause they had this promotion for 1/2 priced Frappuccinos! :D <3 green tea <3 Obviously, we camwhored alot there, and also when we went for dinner, and outside my house.. haha

June 16th: I went for dinner with Kath after her exam. (:

June 17th: I met most of my other Sunway lovelies (that was random. but twas the first thing that popped in my head to call em ^^ )

June 18th: I went to Seremban to visit my paternal grandparents. I layered my hair too (: now My hair looks like how it did when I was 14 years old. –.- How awesum.

June 19th: Had awesum pawsum Korean food for dinner for Father’s day. Damn will I miss the Korean food when I go back to Aussie. ): Even if Perth has Korean food, not like I would fork out the moneh fer it. :/

June 20th: Calson, Vee Li, Hou Yin & Farrah came over and we recorded a birthday vid for my brother, Mr. Kenneth Tan. :D It’s more of an inside joke thing cause only those who know him will find it funny :P Then after that we headed to Mv to meet the rest. We watched Green Lantern. <3 Ryan Reynolds <3 but it was alright, nothing too fantastic.. but still not bad.. (: and when I came home, I found these really nice scarfs & blazers. <3

June 21st: Went to my aunt’s place to meet some relatives, and my aunt was passing us some clothes.. More of winter clothes for me and formal stuff for my mum. It was pretty funny, cause we were all trying out clothes, and it made me realise that being women, fashion brings us all of 3 generations together. I had fun :D Later when I got back, I went for a drink with Rine, Crys & Angie. (:

Then later at night, we (Sunway/Monash gang) went to Pyramid for dinner. We stayed at the restaurant till like 10pm, then we met up with the rest and went to Changkat (the pubs) for Celia’s birthday. (: Gurtej managed to talk his way to getting us in one of em, even though the age limit was 21 . Twas pretty fun, dancing and all.. We left bout 2am+ and headed to a mamak back at Sunway. There was a funny story, which I am currently too lazy to tell, but wtv. We had supper then left to head home at about 4am. Felt very satisfied with the night. I wanna go MOS! :D

June 23rd: Went to Sunway Pyramid and met up with the rest of the Sunway gang for lunch. All of us practically waited around for Shaun to finish his exams. lol. Omg I so want Shaunnie’s jeans! So jealous! D: Overall, we just had fun hangin out together. And ooh! It was the first time I tried Chatime! Brown rice green milk tea <3

Later on I had dinner with Kath, Rine, Crys & Angie at some place at Kuchai Lama. (:

June 24th: Today I met up with Crys, Shaun, Nick & Kath at Mv. It was quite funny when I was trying to find a parking spot, Crystal & Shaun arguing about the “Law of Attraction” and “Psychology”. LOL Cause we didn’t have much time, we didn’t get to watch a movie but we just chilled and talked a lot over starbucks. Sesame green tea frappuccino <3 Then later we had a lil road trip cause someone’s directions were “so good”. As a whole, it was really a good bonding day (:

June 25th: Nothing much really happened today, only that in the evening, Shaunnie texted me asking if I had dinner at home. In the end, he, Renee & I had dinner at Boon Boon Cafe. Among all places. lol. We played that stacking game which I know I fail at describing. lol. But it was fun, and Renee was taking pics for her assignment. I don’t have the pics, cause she deactivated her fb acc :/ but they were pretty funny pics of me. Later on we headed to a mamak nearby and Kenneth & Kar Mun joined us. (:

June 26th: I woke up at a quarter pass 6 in the morning, to supposedly go for this super famous bak kut teh in Klang. But due to the late arrivals of my very awesum friends, we went to the one we usually went to. –__-“ After that we headed to Keegan’s to chill for awhile! :D <3 his doggies man!! Sho cute & adowable.. *cuteface* And as expected, we went to AC after that for foos & pool. Why am I not surprised. :/ lol

I’ve gotta say this is quite a nice pic of Nick & I.. Even though he has that, not-fully-awake look and my face looks fat.. =x

June 27th: I spent my arvo watching Ellen Degeneres vids on Youtube! Boy did I LOL so much! Arvo well spent indeed :D Then in the evening, had dinner with Kath, Rine & Angie. Kath finished her exams and she was freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! :DDD We bought hairdye after dinner. :3

June 28th: Went over to Rine’s to dye our hair together with Crys! Kath came too. Then later we went Uni hunting! We visited Sunway, Monash & Help. Picked Angie up from Help too, and for some unexplainable reason, couldn’t contact Nick. :/

At night, I went to the Sri Petaling pasar malam with the Sunway gang. Headed to Kar Mun’s house after that and we watch this Cantonese movie about cheating husbands. lol. Boy was that movie really testing my ability to understand Cantonese.. I mostly understood. heh.

June 30th: I headed to the airport at about midday and flew to Singapore! Sarah picked me up and we went to the city. I wish I wasn’t wearing jeans cause I was so sweating! >< Had yummy dinner and desert. :D took a lot of pwetty spore pics. (:

July 1st: Sarah & I went for brunch in the city & we had The Most Awesome Mushroom soup EVERRR… Then, we headed to browhaus, did our hair & our nails. Wonderful girly pamper time. x> After that we met Bryan for dinner at Ramen Play!! Sho freakin good! Best ramen I’ve ever had! :D For dessert, we went to this place called Food Paradise. Homg yummy sial!! xD And we even managed to drag Bryan to the neoprints! :D

July 2nd: Went boots/ballet flats/brown satchel hunting today.. Then we went and pick Uncle Chart & Lai Yi from the airport. Around 5sth or so, we went to the Singapore Expo for Beast’s Fan Meeting. Sarah kept giving me crash courses on Beast. I hafta admit, I am not a kpop fan, but going to the fan meet, watching them perform, they are not bad. (:

July 3rd: Headed back to Msia and had a good rest at home. (:

Anddddd…… Imma stop here, cuz me is the sleepies now and I has to wake up supa early to goes to the aiport.

Penang, you won’t know what hit you!

*we have to take our, clothes off* –continuing my title name C:

The awkward moment when you dedicate a post to a boat.

2011-05-30T03:16:00.001+08:00

This is me. Looking at my absolutely very best. Or not. :/

You shall be named, Boat.

It feels like I’m living in a hurricane. The sensation of being lifted off the ground, like you’re weightless. Nothing can hold you down any longer and you know, that wherever you land, things will be different. Possibly even better. Or maybe even worse. Who knows? Even though so, the things I hold so dear to my heart are flying past me. I need to grab and hold on to my boat tight before I lose it. Forever. But I’m afraid. What if the winds are too strong, and if I reach out to grab it, something flies by and snaps my arm off? No, this is not a joke, neither am I trying to be comical. So, back to trying to grab it. Like I said, if I don’t act now, I risk losing it forever. Am I willing to make that sacrifice? The possibility of an arm for my boat? Boat is so random, I know. But I love being random. Being random makes me feel things differently. Anyway, even though I just created boat ^ , I reckon I really like it. I feel like the hurricane has brought me back in time, back to the days when I was a lil’ girl. I look at myself, and I’m like, “Dude! Haven’t I pass this stage already?!” Awsum. Awesum #?@!ing pawsum indeed. A time-travelling, endorphin-inducing, choice-making hurricane? That was awkward…. :/ Nonetheless, I wanna have my boat. Really really bad. I think it’s about time I deserved it. And if I do manage to grab onto it, things will never be the same. Only for the better, I hope.

So let me have this one, will ya?

Original & Very roughly painted. :S

I’m very proud of my bouncy squiggle ball. (:

On another entirely random note from my random post, I so wanna have this dress!

cause you’re f*cking crazy rock and roll.

2011-05-06T00:41:00.003+08:00

Today I was at K-mart, and I got my mum to call me cause needed to ask her something. During and after that phone call, I really missed her. I missed having her around. *shit I’m tearing up again* anyway, Hearing her voice through the phone was mega different from skyping for some reason. I have no idea why. I Skype with my parents so often, and that phone call made me miss her so much all of a sudden. :( And then there was the instance at Xanthe’s over the Easter holls, and there were quite a few stuff about her mum which really made me miss my mum. I guess cause of those certain things, Xanthe’s mum reminded me of mine. I actually teared up bout it. It was the first time I did in a pretty long which since I got to Perth. I mean, I miss my mum, you know. I haven’t seen her in months. And when I skype, I mostly talk to my dad. Prolly that’s the reason I miss my mum more. :/

Just now I had a very good catching-up time on Skype with Carrine. It was very very enjoyable. An hour plus I think. Lots of laughs and Louder Tan was unleashed after a very long time. lol And we realised, it’s only about 5 weeks till I go home! Not that I can’t wait to leave this place, don’t get me wrong, but I seriously can’t wait to go home. So what do I miss exactly? Lemme list em out.

People – family & friends obviously. not the other rude, seedy, ****s which make me Aussie so much more.
My DOGGIES, Leo & Chloe!
Me being able to drive , the convenience of being able to go wherever I want, whenever I want, much faster than now. :(
The more active nightlife. Like seriously, I miss hanging out with friends at the mamak (coffee shops) at like 3am or sth.. HAHA And all the malls only close at 10pm!
The cheapness of everything. gosh. here a simple can of soft drink would roughly cost $2, yes same as in Msia, RM2. But with the stupid economy of the *beloved* country, the exchange just has to make that can drink cost RM6+!! Simple meals can cost RM24!! Argh. I've never cooked for myself so often in my entire life! Every dollar I save, I feel a sense of accomplishment! -__-

I’ve got so much stuff I wanna bring home and leave there, and also so many stuff I wanna bring here! Argh. why only 7 kilos of luggage?! ><

Oh and I can’t freaking wait for Penangggggg!! It’ll defo be awesome specially in contrast to the cold now. It really is getting cold… :S That’s whyyyy, I need more winter clothes! :/ Oh and also maybe PD!! :DDD Okay, I’ve lost my train of thought in blogging cause I’m Skype calling with Calson, Joshua and Keegan. Awesome. –.- (Y

Btw, I was cursing this girl ^^^ for having so many shades of colour in her hair. lol And I don't really like the colour of her arms I coloured in. It seems darker than it actually looks.. -.- And if I ever get a tattoo, Imma get this. (:

more irrelevancy which just might have its good points.

2011-05-05T23:13:00.002+08:00

Well as you may know, it’s down to the Top 5 for American Idol now. I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore. Well, I at least won’t if James Durbin wins. I mean, yeah he may be good and all, but I find his normal singing voice, so normal… and his scream, i realised it’s a screamo scream. Not an artistic musical scream. –hence the diff between him and Adam Lambert- so ye, I’ve been very tempted to say, “If James Durbin wins this year, I will stop being a die-hard fan of American Idol".” And even less motivation to watch is cause my favourite got kicked out; Paul McDonald. Ye I’m being realistic, I didn’t think he’d win anyhoo, but him going out so early?! I mean, before Stefano?! Urgh. Wth is wrong with the voters?! –__-

Anyway, I created some posters dedicated to him for one of my weekly assignments. (:

Btw, another reason I no longer care, is cause I have,

The Voice.

All the talent seem to have gone there or something! :D

not really a post.

2011-05-05T22:56:00.001+08:00

I really have nothing to post.

I just wanna post these pix up to get to the next post. :/

I can’t think of anything that I can post in relation to something that has passed! argh.

All I think of posting, I wanna fit into the next blog post! ><

Ok the end.

There’s no life to live in, without this world

2011-04-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

Ye that’s right.. Twilight can go #$%^ &*!@. Harry Potter is da bomb. Nothing can be better than it. Though the movies may not be up to par with the books, they’re alright. Could be worse. So anyway, J. K. Rowling is my hero I tell ya. She introduced me to a world where I know now that life is nothing without it. Sure many people who hasn’t read the books or been sucked into this world would go, “I’m not a fan, and I survived”, but their lives will never be the same as ours. The love that they will never feel, and the world that they will never experience. I feel bad for them. I actually do. Everyone deserves to be given a chance, but somehow, this world skipped them. I just can’t freakin’ wait for the last movie; Part 2 of the Deathly Hallows. I’ve gotta admit, Part 1 was siiiiccckkk! Better than many others. The 7th book was also my favourite. Here’s a trailer which got me so hyped up.

lmao. what I’d give to see your expressions when you watched the vid. Nahh.. here’s the real one which did make my heart race and give me goosebumps. (:

*supa excited! xD*

What’s more, I’ll be back in KL when it comes out!! Wheeeee!!! I wish I could marry the story. Like seriously. lol

Tough Love

2011-04-12T01:57:00.001+08:00

Defo the fact that I hang out with the Aussies, it gives me a true insight to the Aussie life. And boy am I enjoying it. I don’t wanna be considered a fob! D; Anyway, uni parties which go off are the bomb mann. I enjoy the #?*$ outta myself! Only for Asians who can adapt. x) Ye I am still my true Asian-culture-boring-moral-valued self, but a lil’ fun won’t hurt. :) That’s the whole point of being in uni anyway. Friends who visit me must experience a uni party. They don’t (won’t) have em back in Msia. poo. And the funny thing is, when I told a friend that we all do know about the American life/culture/whatevs, the parties, the life and shyt, he said, Aussies are exactly like that, only better.

HAHA. :D

Six weeks aye.

2011-04-12T01:42:00.001+08:00

I just can’t wait! From what was the BLAST of Langkawi ‘10, I absolutely can’t wait for Penang ‘11 !!

Boo to those who can’t make it. :(

I’ll be back in KL for six weeks so those who can’t make it, we must hangout. *coughcough you all know who you are coughcough*.

SIX WEEKS babeh! I so freakin’ can’t wait! The best part? Crys & Kath will finish A-levels, and the Monashians’ whole sem break will be when I am around! I wanna visit all your campuses too! :D

Boy I miss driving. Summore my parents sold off my Myvi already. I really am so devo about it. At least I’ll get to drive my mum’s car. Hope there’s no dog smell and I can drive it often. :/

I so miss everyone back home. I miss being surrounded by crazy siao _sheebye people. And I can be loud like #$%^ as I normally am.

Oh Penang is gonna be an über sausage fest weyh! lmao.

I will have photoshoot with my high school besties! First thing I do when I get home, Imma learn the shiz about the camera! Awesum Pawsum pix, here we come! x)

It’s in my blood.

2011-03-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

Okay, this is a wayyyyy overdue post. I drafted it and wanted to post it in the spur of the mo and it would have been fantastic since I was so enthusiastic about it atm ya know? But I got distracted and carried away, until I lost that enthusiasm. :/ Even now I don’t have the mood to blog about those stuff cause I have other inspirations in mind, but I feel that I just have to get over with it and then only I can move on. You get me? :S

Okay first thing’s first, I wanted to talk about how nice Aussies are. The other day I was at the city and I really needed to find A4 paper. I was walking into every possible shop looking for it. Then there was this shop which offered photostating services, and I asked this man at the counter whether that shop sold A4 paper or not. He said sorry, no and he didn’t know where else would sell it. I was like “Are you sureee no where else sold A4 paper??” Then he was like, thinking. Suddenly, he went over to the photostating machine, and took out a set and gave it to me(!) saying Happy Christmas with a smile. In a shocked tone, I was like, “Are you serious?!” And he was like, yeah. :) I was genuinely surprised by his kindness. :)

Next up, is something I thought of. You know what, there should actually be more TV shows about Asians catered for the World to see – like how people all around the world watch American TV shows. Well as many of us watch Movies & TV shows, we know or at least have an idea of how the Caucasian culture is like. On the other hand, our Asian culture is left, how would I put it, in the dark? Yeah I guess they’d still know something about it, but it would be so little, that it’s negligible. But thinking about it, the Asian culture is all conservative and traditional; the only sort of drama happening would be someone acting inappropriately or showing too much skin. Who would wanna watch it? With all the juicy Gossip Girl plots and considerably dirty jokes in American sitcoms? I wouldn’t even look twice to a show about Asian lifestyles. :S *sigh* oh how the modern world is Westernizing us. lol. :)

Here are some of my hard work from MCC129 : Introduction to Digital Design. [They’re only part of the big picture I submitted. Check out my uni blog to see the real stuff/my fab. :) ]

x.X.Nise.X.x.

I will not conform to your social beliefs

2011-02-25T11:18:00.001+08:00

Heh. I like this shot I took. And coincidentally someone was kicking towards the water. Nice kan? :D

Anyway, I do not mean to offend anyone at all, but I really don’t wanna take tonnes of pictures and document every single thing I do whilst I’m here in Perth. Like seriously, those who do are in every right of their own, free to do so, but I guess I just don’t feel the urge to do it myself. I am not trying to condemn those who are doing it, but just don’t expect me to follow through. Prolly this has something to do with the fact that I am no stranger to Australia in general. I am treating the place as my second home and do not feel as if I am just here for a long visit. Who knows, I might work here someday even? Again, to everyone who does take tonnes of pictures and documents their lives here in detail, I guess it’s nice that your friends and family get to see what goes on in your life in their absence. :) I wanna say, “Keep it up!” but that sounds so clichéd, so I do hope you get what I mean. :)

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Fairy Lights light up my sky.

2011-02-21T23:52:00.001+08:00

Today, if it didn’t cause such an inconvenience to me, I would have actually been scared. I will not elaborate cause I am short of time. The internet company wanna do some “maintenance” from 12am-8am worh.. But just watch this vid. I was freaking there. –___-

http://video.dailytelegraph.com.au/1807246642/Nine-News-Perth-bomb-scare

And I bought these fairy lights, which I so always wanted. :3 Now I’m gonna spam you guys with pictures I took. =D

Will update more when I have the time! :)

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

We’re the kids of America, Wo-oh!

2011-02-19T18:26:00.001+08:00

Sorry it’s been like, soooo long since my last update. Too much has been happening I guess. My flat is full now, which I am very pleased about. :) I met some pretty awesome people too. They’re all Caucasians/whites though. I don’t have a problem with that, but I guess I’m just quite surprised. I’ve been told that Perth has alot of Asians, so I guess my expectations on the number of Asians were pretty high. From what people said, Curtin will be the uni with much more Asians. The other day I kinda visited the Bently campus for the graduation, and I do agree. In comparison to Murdoch, yeah.. But nonetheless, the people I’ve met are siiicckk.. Or cool if you will.. :)

I had the first week of my lectures already, and so far it’s been okay I guess. They’re all introduction stuff so there weren’t much. Oh, I did find the introduction to my elective class – Introduction to Digital Design – very interesting though. I’m damn glad I chose this as my elective. C: I’ll learn how to edit still images (Photoshop to be exact, right from the beginner’s level! yay! xD Even though I don’t consider myself beginner as I know some basic stuff) and also edit audio! Weeeeee!! Damn happy.. xDDD Oh, and one of my work throughout the year will be to keep a blog to discuss lectures, ideas and show my work, helping me to create my portfolio I think. Unfortunately, that would limit my casual blog time.. D: I’ll give you guys the link to that blog when I’ve set it up aite.. :D Oh, and my lecturer was so cool. Instead of making us turn off our hand phones, she said that if any of our phones were to go off during the lecture, we had to tell a joke. Right then and there. That’s definitely more encouraging rather than saying that we were prohibited from using our mobile phones in class. I can see she has things well thought out. :D

The drawing above was actually done in my Creativity & Innovation introduction lecture. Honestly, it was kinda hard to concentrate during that. Why? Well I’ll tell you why. That lecture in particular, as it turns out, is a pretty popular one. And because of that, they had to split the lecture into two theatres. My friends and I saw most people going into theatre 1, so we decided to head to theatre 2. We realised something was being projected on the screen in theatre 2. After sitting down for awhile only did we realise that the projector was actually showing what was happening in theatre 1!! So we were practically watching what was happening in the other theatre. How nonsense was that? We should have went into that theatre in the first place! –___- In the end, I’ve decided to use that notebook as my Introduction to Digital Design. I thought it’d be more appropriate to the subject. :) Anyway, I had my tutorial for that, and my tutor was a Belgium guy who was really nice. :D He seems really qualified in so many things.. @.@ His name is Dr. Pierre Van Osselaer. He asked us to just call him Pierre. O.o

Besides that, I had a tutorial for my Introduction for Communication & Media unit. The tut was actually interesting. First we were given a scenario. If we were going to be deserted on an island, what are the 3 things which we would bring? Then, in groups of 3, we had to convince our group members to agree on our idea, or at least agree on the same things. After that, a speaker of each group will have to convince one other group, the target audience, that they should bring what they suggest. That group would then give feedback about that particular person’s presentation and content, and whether they were convinced. The lecturer himself would also give comments, and he would mention things like body language and confidence etc. I found it really thought provoking and if that was an indication of how future tutorials will be like, I am gonna enjoy myself. C:

Other than that, I have Principles of Marketing. My lecturer’s name is another mouthful. Dr. Anna Czerkawska. I’m not exactly sure where is she from, but her accent is pretty strong, and she speaks preeeeaatttyyy slowwwwwlllyyy… I hope that gives you an idea of how I felt about that lecture.. Zzzz… My tut will be conducted by someone else though. A younger dude. Thank God. @.@

Three days ago, I met Melody at my uni ! It was sooooooo freaking hot, that we went and found a room in the library just to talk and catch up. The next day, we met up again and took a bus & train to the city centre! :DDDD We had an awesome pawsome fantabulous time!! Especially when we went to Harbour Town! :DDDD We should do that again! I definitely want to. :DDDD

Every freaking day is like, soooooooo hot mann… My God. I rather wear sleeveless tops every single day. Sweating like a pig man.. D:

Dear Autumn, you better fall to us soon. (geddit? geddit? Autumn-fall??? XP)

Oh, and I am widely bewildered by the Aussie slang. Who ever in their right minds would have guessed that it’d be so confusing! I felt so dumb! For the very first time in my life, I felt like an under-read person! I will understand all that slang soon. I hope. :/

One more thing, I realised I’ve been meeting a lot of people who looks like other people! More of characters/celebrities! Lemme list them out;

Winona Ryder, Chuck (from the TV Series, Chuck), Stiffler (from American Pie), Adam Levine’s girlfriend, Eric (from Gossip Girl) and The Weasley Twins! Lmao.

*My title was cause my friends sang the song on a wii game when we hung out. It was fun. Weeee! :D *

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

I see the sun!

2011-02-05T18:25:00.001+08:00

Don’t they look alike??? When I first saw that dude on American Idol auditions, (forgive me that I forgot his name+where he auditioned+not finding it) he immediately reminded me of one of Jeff Dunham’s puppets, Walter! Damn was he funny! Some of my fav quotes which I have paraphrased due to memory failure:

Jeff Dunham: “Women age like wine.”

Walter: “Well mine aged like milk.”

lmao. But the dude who auditioned was GOOD! :D

Anyway, today I joined the “Discover Your Campus Race”. I was reluctant at first, cause you know, I just LOVE running in these kinda races. (take the VI treasure hunts + merentas desa every year for example. Ain’t I a winner? ==) But the ice-breaker game was fun. Mingle-Mingle where we had to touch someone with the specified criteria with a certain body part. eg. touch someone wearing a sling bag with your head. lol it was fun lah. After that we had to get into groups of 10, of different nationalities. I was just standing there, and this group pulled me in. lol. They were Americans, Canadians, Norwegians & a German. laugh out loud. I was the only Asian. :/

Oh well, I made friends though. Nice people. Funny too. So hard to control my Malaysian slang with the ‘damn kao's’, ‘lah's’ and etc. Those were just on the tip of my tongue atm. So yeah, it was actually quite difficult really. lol. And oh, fyi, unfortunately for me, none of them are the same course as me, and none of them are the same age as me. All of them are in their 2nd or 3rd years already, some doing a study abroad programme for like one semester, some continuing their degree for like 4-5 years here. :/ At least I know more people now. :)

Back to my story, I was lucky, cause they’re such fun people, and they weren’t those extremely competitive kinds, which would have resulted in me running all around campus, meaning, draining the life outta me. So yeah, thank God for that. And the bonus? We came in 2nd place! We get a prize! heh heh heh..

Oh! OH! When I walked pass my house? flat? wtv it’s called, block, I saw another window open. So I hoped that someone had moved in. I was disappointed though, cause when I came home, the doors were all closed. But as I was doing my stuff in my room, I heard a sound. I immediately checked it out, and found that a girl for the US had checked-in in the room next to mine! Yay! :D At least I won’t be so lonely anymore. :)

I’m gonna be going out with some of the new friends I made today later. Hope it won’t be more of a hole in my wallet as my short trip to Garden City with one of ‘em this afternoon. :S Not that I didn’t like going out or wtv, but my mind is still in Ringgit, so everything is times THREE still. >< I’m surely gonna spend $$ later :( , but it beats eating instant noodles alone again.. >< (My flatmate has plans with her friends she came with.)

Note to self: Remember all their names especially flatmate’s! >< Damn am I bad a names. :S

Till maybe tomorrow! :)

x.X.Nise.X.x.

btw, fyi, ‘I see the sun’ cause the “storm” over me is slowing clearing. Get my metaphor please. C:

Something light to keep my mind off things

2011-02-04T17:36:00.001+08:00

Oh well well well.. Does my eyes deceive me? Isn’t that Chris Daughtry, next to Adam Lambert both who are the 4th runner-up & 1st runner-up respectively of past years’ American Idols, next to other Idols, Carrie Underwood & Fantasia who won in their respective years?? After & before that they did show Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks, Kris Allen, Jordin Sparks, Lee Dewyze and David Cook though. But why those two runner-ups? ;)

I’m still in the process of acclimating myself here. I just wish I wasn’t alone all the time. Why. Can’t. My. Flat mates. Move. In. Fasterrrrr.. X’( I feel like some jakoon, even with the slightest sound, I’d look out the window (over looking the pathway) hoping someone was moving in to my flat. I know I sound damn sad. :(((

Btw, Steve Tyler said the F-word??? Damn I missed that episode. :P

And Ooh! Look! What a coincidence! I print screened with Nigel Lythgoe’s name! First time actually seeing it on Ai. He’s a judge and ALSO an executive producer of SYTYCD. I never realised he was also an executive producer for Ai until my dad told me.

Hope things look up soon. :(

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Au contraire, my gazillionaire.

2011-01-30T00:04:00.000+08:00

Well, I’ve been super busy lately, hence the silence of my blog. Somewhere next week, when I’ve settled down, only will I post about my farewell and my last month in Malaysia. :)

I’m like, leaving in <24 hours, and I don’t know why I just suddenly felt like posting something.

I guess this is gonna be another one of my random posts, cause I don’t have specifically one topic to grandmother-on about.

The feelings I’m supposed to feel cause I’m leaving has not set in yet. But I can feel it coming. All my life I’ve been thinking about going to Australia for uni, and now, this is it. I’m finally gonna do what I’ve been thinking about for about, around a decade? wow.

Nick called me while he was at the airport to go to UK today. Awwww… sho sweet lah he.. Gonna miss you buttloads, you babi.. C:

I do not know how to react in awkward situations. I think I basically just stun there, and smack my forehead, or shake my head. loudspeaker much? HAHA I think I should make this less visible cause I don’t think it’s timing-appropriate.. :P

To all my friends out there, (family already knows), add me on

skype/oovoo/ping! : twydenise

:D oovoo is like group chat. on skype, group chat is a premium feature, so have to pay. oovoo is free. :D

Love you all, and you should know who you all are, always. C:

For the last time in Malaysia for about 5 months,

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Hey Summer

2011-01-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

(My new typography! I made that line myself! ;D )

I just had an epiphany. I think I found out another weird attribute to myself. I like to feel, emotions. >< I don’t know exactly how to describe it. Like, I absolutely love to watch movies/shows and read books which make me cry. I want to be touched I guess. I guess it feels extra special when it’s something someone says to or does for me. :’) Now I’m making the book for people to write in. I want to cry when I read what they say.. Am I weird? :/

Now that I’m confirmed going to Murdoch U, and leaving to Perth on the 30th, things are mentally very hectic. D: I haven’t actually started packing yet! D: Have. To. Start. Tomorrow. >< I’ll at least pack the clothes I won’t wear anymore while I’m here. Sigh. I can’t wait to go lerr.. Not cause I wanna leave, but cause the anticipation of everything is ~~killing me~~. I can’t wait to get used to the place and all. I know it will be tough in the beginning, but after that should be much better. :)

The process of making my book for my friends to write is taking sooooo long… I’m getting very lazy. What I had in mind is starting to feel too tedious to complete. Maybe I’ll just scratch it and make it simpler. :/ Nonetheless, it will look awesome. So friends who are reading this, please make the effort to plan what you want to write in it? It would really mean a tonne to me. :)

Go ahead. Make me cry.

Omaigawsh I’ve been going on a frenzy finding awesome songs by unknown bands. Well, at least unknown to me larr.. :D Here’s a few of my favs. :D

Hey Summer – The Bigger Lights

Like We Used To – A Rocket To The Moon

I Just Wanna Run – The Downtown Fiction

Your Voice – The Downtown Fiction

All The Pretty Girls – Fun

Radio Arcade –Kill Paradise

Count ‘em one, two, three – The Maine

When I Get Home, You’re So Dead – Mayday Parade

I’ve Got You And You’ve Got Me –Teen Hearts

Oh and here are a few albums which I can listen to over and over and over and over again. :D

Hands All Over – Maroon 5 (They’re going to Perth too!!!!!!)

Science & Faith – The Script

Lazarus – Travie McCoy

Cradle Song – Rob Thomas

For Your Entertainment – Adam Lambert

I’m Alive, I’m Dreaming – The Ready Set

Smoke & Mirrors – Lifehouse

Save Me San Francisco – Train

Teenage Dream – Katy Perry

This Is War – 30 Seconds To Mars

Well, those are some of ‘em.. Very worth the download. C: Now Hey Summer by The Bigger Lights is like on my current mental replay list. I absoulutely love it. ^^

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Oh My December.

2011-01-06T18:20:00.002+08:00

You see, I had a few choices of titles involving the word ‘December’; My December – Linkin Park & Back To December – Taylor Swift. Okay, that wasn’t really alot of choice, but still.. Anyway, I decided to go closest to My December. Why? Cause Taylor Swift has become irritating. Yeah she writes about ‘real life experiences’, but why are all her ‘real life experiences’ on her album Speak Now about the many different guys she meets/falls for/was with –with the exception of Kanye West, but she sort of still met him – ?? –_____- Hence the reason why Back To December wasn’t my choice. I mean, NO WAY was my blog title gonna be a song name about Taylor Lautner!! ><

Anyway, back to my December, I’ll go through the whole month.

Well, I went to Langkawi from the 1st to the 4th, when I came back I was sick for about a week. Here’s what I’ve been up to after that. :)

10th: Slept over Kar Mun’s house with Renee, went to Mist, and went to the Curve for Hou Yin’s birthday surprise. I kinda enjoyed organising the treasure hunt for him, along with Zi Yang. Love you, Monkey! *hugs* :)

14th: I went for dinner with Kath & Pete. It was a fun catching up time with pe-er.. :D Then Kath and I + Angie slept over Crys’ house. Angie, Crys and I played Chor tai ti dunno like a gazzilion times! I kept losing! >< Anyway the next morning, Angie, Kath & I left damn early, at about 7th. Kath came to my house and we watched some TV till it was brighter, then she went home.

16th: We went on a road trip. First bkt, then to Bukit Melawati. It was raining so we couldn’t see the monkeys. But we went inside the museum and took pictures! :D

Had alot of funny moments in Shaun’s car, like when Hou Yin, MC and I were going into the car, Hou Yin dived in, MC dived in ontop of him, and I was stuck under the rain right outside the car cause I didn’t realise that they had dived in and took the whole seat. –___- HAHAHAHHA.. It was raining so freakin’ heavily summore. == After that, we went to Sekinchan to visit the paddy fields. It was just drizzling, but still oh so freakin’ windy. We took awesome pictures. :) Oh, and MC lost his umbrella. The orange one bellow.

18th: We hiked Bukit Tabur! 17th night, MC & Kenn picked me up and sent me to Renee’s house around 12am where I slept over. We only slept for about 3 hours when we had to get up at 4am to get ready. At about 4.30am, the rest met outside Renee’s and we headed to a McDs nearby for breakfast. We then used the GPS to get to the place, and started hiking up at about 6sth. It was reeeaaalllyyy damn fun hiking up. Especially when we started in the dark! And we managed to see the sunrise. The view was *breath-taking*. It was the epitome of it. And the breeze was like, the best weather! :D Oh, I pokai ripped a small hole in my pants. At the butt! It’s an old pants which I have been wearing ever since f1! I ended up borrowing CK’s jacket to cover it. There were 3 peaks, and we didn’t even reach the 1st! == It was too far up and deep in. :/ As fun as our journey was up, going down was a pain in the ass. Or rather, toes/feet for me. >< By the time we came down, it was about 9-10sth. 3-4 hours!

We changed discreetly behind the cars (girls) and we took turns to block each other while the guys were waiting at the other car. Haha. Then we went SOMEWHERE to have brunch, and later fetched Blake home before going home ourselves. MC agreed to fetch me home (thank youuu). My family went to Seremban but I had the house keys. Little did I know, the key I locked the wooden door, and the set of keys I had, didn’t have that key. >< I frantically called around, and after many failed attempts, I managed to call Kath, and got her to pick me up to her house. That time was when I needed to use the bathroom summore! >< Luckily I slept over Renee’s house the night before, so I had extra clothes and I could bathe there. We talked talked talked, went out for lunch, went online, then I took a nap. My parents picked me up at around 7pm. Phew! What a day that was for me.

20th: Went dim sum at 9am @ OUG. I rushed cause Hou Yin was already outside my house to fetch me. But in the end, we were the earliest there! We’re not Saujanians, so we didn’t understand that when they say 9am, they meant 9.30 or 10am. == lolllll… After that, we went to Renee’s house. We watched Despicable Me (cause some people haven’t watched it) and also Ghost Adventures. Which we thought was pretty stupid. == We also ordered McDs. :D All in all, it was one of those quality times you treasure with your friends, where you’re not actually doing much, but just spending time with them. <3

21st: Went with Rine, Angie, Crys and Rine’s sis to Pyramid. Rine wanted to do some shopping. lol We watched Rapunzel! Nice show! :D Went into many many shops, and in the end, Rine & Crys bought these really nice tops from Brands Outlet. :) It was a fun time with them.

24th: We went bkt again with more ppl and also Mr. Varun & his gf. :) Picked Nick up from his house too. After eating, we headed to AC. == I went home at around 2sth. Overall, there were 3 girls among the guys, and usually, I don’t mind, but in this case, I did. Why? Cause among the 3 girls, I was the only girl who wasn’t a gf of one of the guys. Frickin’ awkward for me mannn!! ><!!! Guys, please don’t ever put me in such a situation again. Yeah I had fun, but it was still awkward. ><

25th: CM came over my house, then we went to Angie & Jason’s open house. Got to catch up with the rest. Food was great as usual. :D LOVE the food & cookies! heeeheee.. xD

29th: Went dinner with Sarah they all. In the midst of dinner, got a call from Nick. He told me the results were out already!!! Heart attack!! I still wanted change my lappie, and at the shop, the dude let me go online with one of the lappies on display. Damn nerve-wrecking. That made it harder to chill and I couldn’t get my p/w right! >< In the end I got it, and was not too thrilled, but still relieved.

30th: Went to the dermatologist :/ Sarah came over in the afternoon. She experimented on my sis and I with make-up. lol We’re always her guinea pigs. Later, we watched a few episodes of BBT! :DDD *laugh laugh* Then, we went to 1u, I drove. :D Walk-walk, had dinner with Lai Yi, and then went looking for black skinny jeans and tights. I found these black skinny jeans that were soooo awesome. One was from British India-225 bux. T.T and another from Marks & Spencer-179bux. T.T Mum didn’t approve of the price. T_T

I wanna go Uniqlo!! I heard the stuff there are nice and reasonably priced! I heard that they have different coloured skinny jeans! Me likieee.. :D I wanna go thereeeee!! ><

31st: I went to Rine’s house at about 4sth, then everyone decided to wear jeans & not bring a handbag. AND I WAS ALREADY THERE!! == So, I ended up borrowing a pair of jeans from Rine (which I will return to you soon :D ) and Cry’s vest (which I will return soon too! :D ). Rine’s friend, Daniel picked us up, and we met up with the rest of her friends and we went to the Curve. At the Curve, we also met some high school friends. Later, we watched the concert and were SO PSYCHED when Colby O’ Donis came on! We counted down and watched the magnificent fireworks. :D After that, I think Sam suggested we go to McDs at Centre Point for a drink. At Centre Point while lining up, Rine suddenly said to us, I think Colby O’ Donis is here!! I turned around, saw some guai lo ladies and when i looked nicely, I saw him!! I reacted fast and immediately went up to him. I was so nervous, but I acted quite sudden! I asked him if we could take pictures with him, and told him that we were just at his concert. xD Dan had to come out of the line.. Ooops… But it was all worth it, eyh?

(I couldn’t fit all in one. )

Well, reached home at about 3.30am? Thanks so much, Daniel!! For fetching us!! Never really thanked you. Heh. Anyway, it was an awesome end to 2010 and start to 2011. Meeting Colby O’ Donis was a sign, and indication, that this year, is gonna rockk!! xD

I can totally relate to this vid like, so so much now. Absolutely applicable for me currently. :)

Especially so cause I’ve been accepted at Murdoch Uni. x)

Now we’ll see about Griffith.

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

96 hours of bliss, bumps and a blast.

2011-01-06T12:26:00.001+08:00

I know this is VERY much delayed! But better late than never right? ><

Wow. This is gonna be a SUPER LONG grandmother story. Remember how long was the Genting one? That was 2 days, 1 night. The Langkawi trip was 4 days 3 nights. So don’t say I didn’t warn ya. :D

It started on the 30th November 2010. I could only bring myself to start packing in the afternoon, and I took agessss…. I couldn’t decide which bag, which clothes and how much clothes. The fear of under-packing, and not packing the right outfit is always there. In the end, I was left with a tortoise shell of a bag and another big hand carry. Vivien & her parents picked me up at about 9sth and we went to the bus station at Bukit Jalil. There we met up with the rest and just chilled while waiting for our 11pm bus. There was alot of hype going on cause we were going to LANGKAWI TOGETHER! :D Finally when we boarded the bus, quite a few of us had to sit alone as the seats were 2 and 1, not 2 and 2. :/ Because of that, I hardly slept at all. I couldn’t find a good angle. >.< Around 2sth am I think? We stopped at this place where everybody bought paos.. lol After that, everyone was kinda awake in the bus. People were telling stories, which I did not listen to. Some ghost stories and superhero stories? haha. Oh! I never knew, that Hou Yin gave such good massages! HAHA He gave one to a few of us. :P Later on, when I finally found a comfortable position and was slowly falling asleep, I heard Vicky saying that we were reaching in 5 mins.. –___-

We reached Kuala Perlis at about 5am+? Then, we all walked to this mamak place to sort of have breakfast. After that, we went to the jetty to wait till 8am for the ferry.

On the ferry, most of us went onto the balcony-thingy to enjoy the view and fresh air.

After awhile, quite a few of us went back in to sleep. Upon reaching Langkawi, as it was not time for us to check in our hotel yet, all of us got into the 5 rented cars, and drove to this place called Eagle Square. There was some picture taking there..

After that, we went to some mall or something for lunch. Later it was time to check in to our hotel and settled in. I shared a room with Kat, and it was damn funny when we got into our room. We saw a connecting door to the next room, and we heard a sound coming from it. Was it a knock? I don’t remember. But when we opened it, we both SCREAMED cause we saw Blake & Hou Yin! *laugh out loud* Anyway, the plan was to rest for awhile and maybe go the the beach later as a lot of people were tired from the bus ride. A few of us however, decided to hit the pool! Blake kept sneak-attacking me from behind to lift me up on his shoulders. >< haha.

When we freshened up, we went to some other mall cause they guys wanted to get their alcohol. We ended buying them from Langkawi Fair. I bought lots of chocolates!! xD Then we headed to a place supposedly a super big pasar malam to have our dinner. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was already kinda late. Everyone gathered in one of the rooms to start drinking. Remember how I mentioned that 2 rooms were connected with a connecting door? Well, the drinking room was also the smoking room. The room connected to that was the non-smoking room, with the occasional drinks brought in from the other room. I drank quite a bit.. But mostly mixed. It’s not that I can’t drink, it’s that I don’t like the taste. Nonetheless, after drinking quite a bit, and watching the others tipsy-ing off, I started to feel something in my head. I guess that was the high feeling. First time ever feeling it. Heck, it was the first time ever drinking that much. Yeah I noob. Went to back to the room, and was hanging out at Blake’s and Hou Yin’s. That’s cause of, sth else which was going on in my room. Heh.

The next morning Blake woke us up. We were supposed to wake up at about 7am. @_@ For breakfast and this mangrove tour thingy. Quite a few of us headed to the buffet place in our PJs.. lol.. At around 8sth-9 we took the super long journey to the mangrove tour place. I got to sit in the *super cute car*! There was this incident that happened, but all was well. Kenn said it was always an adventure in his car. We got to the place and divided into groups of 8 for the boat. The tour was super fun & interesting.

When we were done with it, we headed to a beach. They guys started playing dodge ball while the rest of us chilled around. I bet some of the guys regretted playing now. Some of ‘em got sunburnt.. Ouch.. Then, we were supposed to go somewhere, which I don’t remember, but we ended up at a waterfall! Now that was fun. The water was so refreshingly cold! ^^

Later on, we went round and round and round to find a place to eat. They wanted to eat Chinese food so badly, so we had a good time searching. lol By the time we ate, it was about 3sth-4pm already. Haha.

After that it was back to the hotel, and so many of us hit the pool. Too bad something was wrong with my camera. Or else I could have taken so many more under water shots! *grumble grumble* For dinner that day, we girls wore dresses.. sort of.. for a proper dinner and we had seafood! Later we went back to the pasar malam which we went the night before. That’s cause some of ‘em wanted to get their ‘oblong’. Lol.

Back at the hotel, was another night of drinking. This time, everyone started with shots. There were only two rounds, and I took them both. I felt the effects of it later, but I was still sober. Again it only went up to my head. At around 3-4sth, a few of us went out to sit by the pool. We ended up talking. :/ And only got back to our rooms at about, 5am? looolll…

We woke up later the next morning, just in time to get breakfast. Some of the guys went and returned the cars. After breakfast, the rest went into the pool again. The drivers came back, and I followed Kenn, MC and Kar Mun into their room cause I didn’t wanna get into the pool yet. It seems that Choon missed breakfast. Haha. So we had maggi cup. When we were done, we got in the pool with the rest. lol. For lunch, the rest walked to some shop nearby, but I was feeling pretty tired, so I stayed back in the hotel to sleep. Hou Yin was there too so both of us took a nap. For some reason, I felt cold too. :/

We only woke up for the telematch which the hotel had organised for us. I was still feeling cold and I felt my limbs aching, but I didn’t know why. Only after the first game of bowling (somewhat), did I realise I had a fever. I was my team captain and I wasn’t fit to play! End up my team continued without me, but I was still there. When the games were over, we went and freshened up for dinner. The hotel provided us a barbeque dinner. But I was still feeling sick. Ugh. I took a panadol though.

After dinner, we all walked to the mini market nearby. They bought those forehead thingy for fever for me & Prem. Yeah, he had a fever too. How lucky of us. :/

Then, we walked to the beach! They took ages to set up a fire. heh. But when they did, we all had a sing-a-long and some story telling; about how some of us met. Even how the Saujana gang met me. == haha it was funny lah..

Later on we walked back to the hotel, and while only a few of ‘em drank again, I slept alone in the next adjacent room, so I wouldn’t be too alone. They woke me up when they were done to go back to our room. The next morning, we woke up super early to get back. Honestly, I don’t really wanna get into details of the journey home. I was panicky, angry and I felt reaaaalllyyy bad. Those who know, will know why lah.. :/

Anyway, I had a blast. And it really showed me how much family I have in them. I know we will never lose touch. <3

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Phew. Now I can blog about other stuff de.

Isn’t it just awesome?

2010-12-06T16:53:00.001+08:00

Langkawi was a BLAST. But now I’m sick. Ugh. So that’s all for now..

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

You don’t have to Cry Me Out.

2010-11-30T02:10:00.000+08:00

I realised I have done injustice to my blog. :( Sigh. I guess I’m just becoming a big fat lazy pig. I love blogging and writing grandmother stories, but the urges to do so are not as frequent as they used to be. Oh well..

Wow. That’s all I gotta say. I guess I’m in that, zombie-neutral mood now . I don’t feel anything.

Langkawi’s in <24hours. I know Imma have the time of my life. C:

Random fact:

I absolutely lurve luv love Salmon Roe. ESPECIALLY on chawamushi. *drools* What is it that Choon always says? Bursting with flavour? Well salmon roe is the epitome of it.

Btw Fyi, don’t google image search ‘salmon roe’ unless you’re mentally ready for what you’re about to see.

I know I wasn’t. Damn was it gross. yuck. xS Yet it still tastes awesome. :P

Boy, do I love being random. This whole post is random! This makes me the happy.

K Imma go sleep now. *yawns* Hopefully we’ll meet in five days time. Maybe six. Or more. :)

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

What are we?

2010-11-25T15:34:00.001+08:00

Just thought of trying it out cause the idea came to me. :)

Just for the sake of a gif.

2010-11-24T16:48:00.001+08:00

Outside Cempaka school, waiting for the rest. :)

Love

2010-10-30T15:23:00.005+08:00

Love. You gotta love it. Cause when you are surrounded by such wonderful people, how can you not feel it? It's ironic how a twist of events makes it stronger. :\ Now it's hurting me even more that in less than 4 months, I will have to leave you all. As the end to another glorious year is just around the corner, I just wanted to let you all know, that as I was applying for universities, I hesitated and left my pen hanging in mid air above the ‘intake’ column. After what seemed like an eternity, with a heavy heart, I slowly jotted down the words "Feb 2011". I really felt a pang of reluctance and sadness.

It surprised me when I realised how difficult that actually was, and at that very moment, the reality of it all came crashing down on me; I will miss you all. Terribly.

Before this I’ve always imagined myself going and having the time of my life in a university. Never have I once thought of the fact that I will be leaving you guys behind. Maybe it’s silly of me, but it kinda affected me even more knowing that I’ll be missing my own birthday next year. [what more all of yours’ eh? :( ]

To my family, yeah this may seem, unorthodox, but I just felt like it. I guess you gave me no alternative other than a February intake if I wanted to go over to Australia next year. I wish it wasn’t so, but, I’ll take your offer anyway. I want to go too bad to fight it. Yes, I know you will say “oh friends are not the most important, you’ll make new friends..etc etc” and maybe to a certain extent, it may be true. But times have changed, and I am a different person with a different mind of my own. You may think I’m not matured in my thinking and well, I can’t go against what I feel strongly for, and sometimes I would have to realise things on my own. I know what are my priorities. Days when I’ll be having dinners alone, I’ll miss you the most. I love you, mummy, daddy and stupid kylie. :)

To my high school besties, we’ve been, we are and we always will be close. We know each other inside-out, and I know our friendship is like an elastic band, where when you pull it as long as you can, it will just spring back close. You guys are my family, and air dicincang tidak akan putus (I didn’t wanna use BM, but, wtv..-__-) I’m definitely gonna miss meeting up with you guys, giving you all updates and all. I think I’ll be overloaded with stuff to tell by the time I come back during holidays. :x I’ll miss our no-air laughs and also the ones where we’re literally laughing for no reason cause the other person is laughing. Oh and I’ll so miss all the LAME and FUNNY jokes some of you guys have. I’m one lameshytaddict. xD You crack me up big time. Imma miss all the story telling, the ranting, the expressing, just to hear your unbiased opinion. ;) No matter how seldom we met, we never did have that drifted-apart-awkwardness going on. Which I am extremely grateful for. I love you, crys, kath, angie, rine, pete, lcm and xian. :)

To my college friends… Boy where do I START??? You guys have rawked my world! As you all may or may not know, Ausmat was not my first choice, but my parents didn't let me do what I wanted, so I settled for it. Initially applied for March intake of Ausmat. That was cause my parents were forcing me to go for NS if I got the 1st batch. All the while before, I already had my mind set on starting college in January, and when it came out that I didn’t get 1st batch, I immediately applied for a transfer to January intake. Honestly, my decision to join Ausmat, Jan intake was The Best decision I have made for myself in my entire life. It is the first which I have no regrets at all. Yeah it’s stressful with all the assignments, but meeting you guys made it all worth it. I have never been a part of such a big group of friends, and it feels great.. I feel so, included, you know? :] From the pasar malams and the tuitions and movies, to the wii and the numerous car rides and laughter. Though it’s only been what, 10 months + that I’ve known you guys? Being at college for 8 hours, mornings + breakfast (though I don't eat) and then lunches together, long 2 hours breaks together and the fact that most of us drive, brings us closer together. *bubble tea! :D* The Elites as we so-called call ourselves, is a group where everyone is loud and fun and we care and look out for each other. One thing that our group could improve on, is the amount of girls in it.. =.= And even people not in our intake/course wants to join us! xD I love you guys. You know who you are. [too many to list] :)

Conclusion: I will miss you all. Visit me! And I’ll definitely come back every chance I get. :)

This is the end, of Ausmat 2010.

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Think outside the box and read between the lines.To err is human, to forgive divine.

2010-09-28T22:53:00.000+08:00

The verb "err" means to do something wrong; to make a mistake is "to err". "To err is human" because all people ("humans") make mistakes. "To err is human, to forgive divine" says we should try hard to forgive others because all people are human and make mistakes. Example: "I am still angry about what my manager did yesterday!" Answer: "It is best to just let it go; to err is human, to forgive divine." The world of people is "human" and the world of God is "divine". God's special power to forgive people for their mistakes is called "divine" mercy. When we forgive other people we are acting "divine". "To err is human, to forgive divine" says that we are all human and we all make mistakes so we should all try hard to forgive other people when they make mistakes. Example: "I will never forgive my mother for what she has done!" Answer: "Don't be angry at her. To err is human, to forgive divine." (Because we use the word "is" in the first phrase "to err is human" we do not use "is" again in the second phrase: "to forgive divine".) We are all people who make mistakes so to forgive others when they make mistakes is the right thing to do; "to err is human, to forgive divine." http://www.goenglish.com/ToErrIsHumanToForgiveDivine.asp

Things are always more complicated than they seem.

Think outside the box and read between the lines.

Think what you say, and not say what you think.ouch.

xoxo

Nise

Ménage à trois

2010-09-26T17:41:00.000+08:00

I’ve heard this term in songs and have always wondered what it meant. So, today, I finally wikipedia-ed it.. So according to Wikipedia:

Ménage à trois is a French term which originally described a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same household – the phrase literally translates as "household of three". In contemporary usage, the meaning of the term has been extended to mean any living relationship between three people, whether or not sex is involved, but because it has also been extended to refer to the actual sexual act between three people, otherwise known as a threesome, the term retains its suggestive quality.

*jaw drop*

And they put it as song lyrics.. wow..

Fever – Adam Lambert

Let's get inside your car
Just you, me and the stars
Kind of menage a trois, sometimes
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?

Well, the song was co-written by Lady Gaga. That explains alot. I think her songs should have mentioned it too, but I can’t remember atm.

Last Friday Night – Katy Perry

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop-op
Whoa-oh-oah

It’s Katy Perry. I guess I wouldn’t expect anything less. She herself said that her Teenage Dream record is about love, sex and boys.. :\

Till after Mocks/WACE. :)

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

I better find your ♥

2010-09-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

Okay, confession time.. I’ve lost interest in continuing the Day by day list thingy. =\ I’ll skip to the one I wanna do, when I feel like it kayy?? And Oh!! Great news!! I got my photoshop back~!! :DDD *happy sial* Time for some awesome typography!! *even more happy siot*

My first 3 creations! Wheeeeee! :DDD

Shall post more when I come up with more! :D

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

I set my clocks early cause I know, I’m always late

2010-09-11T17:36:00.001+08:00

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

*Background music for this post should be Pictures Of You by The Last Goodnight*

I’m posting two categories of pictures. Why? Cause there are two group of friends I so ♥.

My college friends. I combined a few pictures cause I didn’t have ONE pic with ALL of ‘em, yet, SOME of them still not in! *pouts in displease* and I don’t have personal pix with each and everyone of them.. :\ Hopefully, that’d change by this year.. :]

And last but definitely not least,

My High School Besties!! I wanted to have one pic of all of us in the middle, but it was blocking the rest… :( So I guess this will have to do.. :\ Gosh, all 4 pix were BEFORE I cut my hair! *nostalgia*

Those people you see above? They’re not my friends. They’re my family. ♥

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Gut Feeling

2010-09-10T22:10:00.000+08:00

Alrightie then, I have this sudden urge to change my tumblr name. So instead of Denise Burts! , It’s now gonna be My Inevitable Speech. :D I’ve used this for a blog before, but never continued it. Hence, I feel that it will come to good use now.. ^^ So, I shall continue with

Day 02- 2.0- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

My Inevitable Speech in a way, is like things I wanna say, and once you’re on my tumblr, you can’t hide from it. Doesn’t make sense? Or even Lame?? I know. That’s just the way I want it to be.

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

What is a Denise?

2010-09-09T14:32:00.001+08:00

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Since my Tumblr name is just Denise Blurts! , I’ll just give the meaning behind MY name by Urban Dictionary! ;)

Definition #1:

Do you know a Denise? because if you do. you sure are a lucky citizen! a Denise is one of the most amazing things you can have in your life. Denise's are very talented, not to mention gorgeous as well. Cherish your Denise for life.

Definition #2:

1) a goddess.
2) an angel.
3) the most beautiful woman in the world.
4) the best ob/doc ever.
5) ex super-model.

Definition #3:

Is a woman who cherishes her family and friends, who adores animals and is kind and generous to all. A Denise is someone whose kindness is often taken advantage of and she hides her pain with courage.

Definition #4:

A Denise is a person who is envied by all. Strong until the finish. A woman named Denise is typically very beautiful with an incredible body and nice eyes. They are known to be very loveable. Denise's are envied by other women.

Definition #5:

A Denise is with out a doubt the most gorgeous girl in the universe. She will do anything for her friends. If you have a Denise as a friend, keep her, because losing her would be the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Denise's are the most amazing, fantastic, funny, and passionate girls ever. They are the best possible friend that you could ever ask for. Always willing to help you no matter what. If you are in need of anything, Denise is the one to call. No matter what. They tend to be very shy, just take time to talk to her and get to know her you are guaranteed to love this rare beauty. Her personality is like a diamond amongst rocks. Not only is she beautiful on the inside but also on the outside. She has stunning curves, beautiful big eyes, and shiny brown hair. She is the best girlfriend a guy could ever want. To date her is comparable to heaven on earth. She is always give, never take. She is not one to take advantage of you, although she is often taken for advantage. She is not the most outgoing person and guys tend to get bored of her after just a little while. They don't give her a chance. Worst mistake ever. She is a Goddess in human form. Absolutely perfect in every way. If you find a Denise, latch on for dear life. She is a life-long friend. Never let her go. Love her till the end. She is guaranteed to always be full of surprises. Usually they are very passionate about animals and nature as well.

Definition #6:

Denise aka #1, is a girl with a PERFECT BUTT, she is beautiful and sweet and is a good best friend to have. She makes you smile everyday and likes weird music. She likes to be in the middle of mosh pits and falls in bushes a lot. I hope everyone is lucky enough to meet someone like her.

Uhmm.. well, I don’t really agree with a lot of it (eg. physical descriptions & stuff about me being anti-social-shy-introverted-not outgoing), but at least SOME of it are true.. :\

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

I’m writing my own history.

2010-08-23T18:21:00.001+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I have mild OCD. –I can’t sleep even with one single cupboard door open/when I draw circles, they have to look at least roughly perfectly round etc.

2. I am LOUD. I think it’s in my genes. =x Albeit my laugh or my excited-ness, I am L.O.U.D. xP

3. I love head-banging to music. Like total rocker chick. During concerts & etc too.. :D

4. Even though I like all colours, my all-time favourite one is Purple. ♥ My Purple Chuck Taylors!! :D

5. I am actually pretty feisty. I don’t take no shit from no one. I’ll snap at you if you cut my line. That’s one of the milder things. ^^

6. Six is my ALL TIME favourite number. It follows me everywhere. That and 3 too.. :D ^th March 1992 (6/3/1992) ~ 6+3+1+9+9+2=30, 3+0=3 :D see???

7. I can move my ankles. Both of them. =x

8. I can be Über chillax at times, but then again, I can get anxious and stress like nobody’s business. =S

9. I hate roller coasters. Unbelievable? Believe it. I think this fear is based on my fear of falling. When people feel that total excitement+adrenalin rush when they fall, I feel my heart getting ready to explode and I’d rather die. ^^

10. I think I’m extremely fascinated with Typography. Like seriously. eg.

Simple fonts arranged to beautify. ♥

11. I hardly believe it that/when good things happen to me. I may sound pessimistic, but I’m just realistic. Seriously.

12. I don’t have a definite handwriting. Sometimes you wouldn’t believe that two pieces of paper with lots of words of different handwritings were both written by me. But it can get very messy at times too. :S

13. I want to further my studies overseas next year. At the same, I’m so reluctant to leave all my family & friends. :(

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

When there's time, You'll be mine.

2010-08-17T00:21:00.003+08:00

Gosh is my blog dead. T.T I never knew it'd ever come to this point. I've sunk to my ultimate low. Usually I'd stop blogging nearer to exams, but I'd give a warning first. The thing is, I didn't give any warning so, I could have blogged... But I didn't. I feel guilty to my blog. Lots have been happening, but nothing blog-worthy. I saw this in someone's blog. It seems very interesting and it would feed my blog more. Now dah anorexia.. :( What's even more interesting is, that that person saw this on another person's blog. :) Shall start it in due time. xD

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30- Who are you?

Okay, I survived my panic attack last night. Thank youuu ♥ (if you are reading) And I just finished some other assignment stuff. Now I can sleep in peace. Toms I wanna try and buy baju for The Brain. He too sexy dahh... Always naked wan.. -__- His sexyness is too good for him, until it's bad. Literally. :\ Hope I'll find something. :S

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

My Gooey Centre

2010-07-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

♫ Indie Music ♥

As music is essential in life, I’ve learned to branch out and be creative. No longer am I limited to the radio. I’ve always had a fascination for songs which were not that famous or popular, but were damn nice. Unknown Awesome music I used to call ‘em. Here are a list of SOME of the ones I really, really love. Some of them you may have heard before, but I’m just listing them down cause they’re not as famous as the songs which are full-frontal mainstream that we are so sick of hearing them on the radio over and over again.

The * means that I like other songs from that band too.

The ♥ means that I like that song extra much.

Can you hear me boys? - Aloha From Hell

I’m Not Over – Carolina Liar*

♥ Wasted – Cartel

Practice Makes Perfect – Cute Is What We Aim For

Broken Man – Danger Radio*

It Ends – Faber Drive*

♥ Unbreakable – Fireflight

Whoah Oh (Me Vs Everyone) – Forever The Sickest Kids

Superman (Save You) – Friday Night Boys*

Walk Away – Funeral For A Friend

♥ Over You – Honor Society

Flightless Bird, American Mouth – Iron & Wine

New In Town – Little Boots

♥ Skin and Bones, ♥ Fell In Love Without You – Motion City Soundtrack

It’s Not Your Fault – New Found Glory

Kristy, Are You Doing Okay? – The Offspring

She Is Love – Parachute*

Didn’t We – Peter Grant

When Did Your Heart Go Missing – Rooney

Season Of Love – Shiny To Guns

Ballroom Blitz - Sweet

Angels On The Moon – Thriving Ivory

♥ You Do – Until June

Bear in mind, these are just some songs which I am suggesting. There are loads more which I did not list down. That’s cause I’m lazy to go through my whole Itunes. Yeah I only have about a thousand+ songs, but still..

Hope you enjoy these songs as much as I do!

If not, then fine..

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

P.S. The title is not literal.

You Say Goodbye, And I Say Hello.

2010-06-26T01:07:00.000+08:00

Gosh it’s Good to be back. Don’t know where to start really… I guess what’s passed is past, so I’ll just skip right to the recent.

Starting with 18th June 2010 at 11.30am. 15 of us went for Dim Sum at Puchong! Jing, Hou Yin & I drove there. I followed Hou Yin as I didn’t know the way, and it felt kinda exhilarating… Not knowing where it leads to, yada yada yada. Had a fun time. :) After that, fetched Viv home and used gps to go home.. Straight away went to get my hair done after that and then went to Derrick’s lil’ gathering for everyone to meet lil’ Baby Deron Teoh. :))) Went Kuchai after that, with Pete, Joel & Jordan too. Rine drove her car too.. :) We had fun lah… :D Later Crys, Rine, Kath & I lepak-ed at Crys’ house till like 11 sth… haha It was a good day.

Grandmother Story ALERT.

If you are shittass lazy to read, skip to paragraph #7.

The next event was from the 21st-22nd. It was the Genting trip organised by Blake for Yanchi. Even though so, we all had fun. I have to admit, I was reluctant to go initially. Genting and me don’t really go well together.. Even though so, I have no regrets at all for going. In fact, I thank GOD I went! I’ll summarise the whole trip. Went to 1U with Choon & Carmen, met up with the rest, went to the bus, Kenn, Doug, Shaun, MC, Blake & Rao accidently missed it.. During the bus ride, I planned to like nap or something, but boy did that not happen. We were all laughing & talking. There was also this one point, where HouYin was sitting next to me, and Gay came over and wanted to take a pic together, and also with Sharm & her bf. Then, there was this aunty, who said something like, “Wahh.. you so leng chai ahh.. everybody want to take picture with you.. Like film star”…(I heard PORN STAR, but seeing the aunty so innocent I immediately dismissed that thought and understood she said FILM) Everybody cracked up! We were laughing uncontrollably.. Then suddenly HouYin said to me softly while lauging, “I heard her say PORN STAR” And I said I heard it too!! DAMN funny wehh!! Then the aunty was like saying she had 9 grandkids and all lah, and Jing went, “Wah Aunty, you very PRODUCTIVE ahh” not directly related, but still funny.. Hahahahah…. And when the aunty was getting off, someone shouted that HouYin has an extra bed for her blablabla… HAAHHAHAHAH Someone even commented among ourselves that she might be a COUGAR!! rawr.. HAHAHHAHAH

LOL I’ll continue now. Before taking the cable car, we waited for the rest and as MC put it, spam with cameras? Or sth? Haha… Then we finally got on the cable car about 2 hours later, and I got into one with the 2 Wans. Damn funny they 2 sticking their head out of the window and shouting.. –__- At the hotel, we checked in, and those who were too kan cheong went to the theme park straight away. Only Keegan, Katrina & I were left and we had a proper lunch (unlike the rest). As we were eating it started to rain. Heavily. LOL. After quite awhile, I watched the 4D film with Rao and then went out to the outdoor theme park to find the rest. We ended up sitting on the Spinning Teacups.. I didn’t want to be a buzzkill and not go on it cause, dah lah I don’t sit roller coasters, and everyone was going on that ride. Jing, Choon & I initially pakat didn’t want to spin wan… But once the thing started only, Jing spam(?) spinning us around. >_< Damn headache wehh… They all sat on the Corkskrew after that and then we took pics… Along with the nice misty mist. =D Went back to the hotel rooms to freshen up, and we met up around 8sth for dinner at Kenny Rogers. After dinner is kinda fuzzy… ohh.. They went arcade, and around 12sth am, we went OUTSIDE to sit in the cool air and tell ghost stories. Frankly, I don’t believe in ghosts, so the stories didn’t really affect me much. When it was 1am+, we mad our way to the cinemas as we were catching a 1.30am screening of The A-Team.

Throughout the movie I felt SO UNCOMFORTABLE, until I had no choice but to ask MC whether I could lean on his shoulder.. *thank youuuu Min Chunn!!* *realllllyyyyyy appreciated it!! :))))* The movie was actually really awesome! I was tired, but I didn’t fall asleep and watched the whole show! Some people fell asleep though.. haha… After the movie, we all went back to our rooms to sleep (around 3am) but in the end, a few on us went to Yanchi’s room to hang out. MC, Doug & I made the super tasty tomyam hot cup.. yummmm.. xD Played Chor Tai Ti with Kat as well… and watched parts of the Portugal-N. Korea 7-0 match. Hahah… Gay straight away K.O. on Yanchi’s bed wehh.. haha… I fell asleep next to MC & Doug around 5sth, but when I woke up, they were gone but Blake was standing over us, and he brought/supported Gay & I back to our room. It would have seemed as if Gay & I were drunk or something!!!! HAHAHHAHA Nonetheless, Blake was so so awesome.. ♥

The next day we only went down for lunch, and before that, the guys played pool. Lunch time was the funniest I tell ya. everyone had stories to tell from the night before.. xDDD After that, we went bowling. I was freakin’ reluctant, cause I knew I sucked bigtime, but I was already such a buzzkill for the roller coasters and the arcade.. So, I decided to play, but was damn damn scared. But once I saw how some of the others played, I didn’t feel too bad after all! xD Believe me, it’s much worst playing with people who scored many many strikes in a row. –__- Anyway, we couldn’t finish our game as we had to go to the Snow World. Douglas & Rao played everything for us. :D (I asked Doug whether he was damn pro already, and he said he thinks he’s worse now.. hahah) Snow World was fun! The slide was okay okay only to me. Not my cuppa tea. :S But the snow fight was fun. Then, everyon went to the arcade again, and we redeemed goodies! (almost 800 tickets) We got a soft toy for Yanchi, and a rubber ball for everyone. LOL. We waited and waited around the arcade till about 5pm, then we made our way back to the cable car.

At the cable car, the thing was so screwed up. Kept stopping and going and stopping and going. Worse still, was when it stopped when it was going upwards, and it slid backwards!!! THAT freaked us out! HAHA… Everytime it stopped Min Chun kept planning our lives in the jungle.. “I will make us a house out of bamboo where we can stay forever” and “See that bird nest there? We will meet Avatars” –__- HahHAhhHAhaHaha I heard Kenn was damn retarded in their cable car too! Acting out announcements over the speaker about going to die until the other lady in their cable car got pissed. HAHA.. Anyhoo, we reached safely and got on our bus. I was expecting to K.O. in the bus, but I ended up talking with Choon & Gay. Alot of the others did though. lol.. Sooooo exhausted…. Oh! Our bus driver is MAD i tell ya! He drove the BUS as if he driving a Lamborghini or something!!!! Crazy piece of shittt!!

Back at 1U, most of us had dinner at, get this, BURGER KING. I just ate there for my lunch the day before! –__- Anyway, we all almost got matching hoodies! DC ones! We wanted to symbolize something about us. But too bad they didn’t have size S… The rest all too big. It was pretty cheap too! After that, my parents picked me up and that was the end of and AWESOME 2 days.. :)))

#7 Yeah, like I said earlier, I was reluctant to go in the beginning, but since everyone was going, I just decided to go. But, this trip has like proved me wrong or something. I’ve never been to Genting w/o an adult(parent) before, and it has brought us all closer together. I’ve always had a small group of close tight knitted friends whom I love to death, and have never been part of such a big group before. And honestly, it feels great! If I had a choice, I would be doing a foundation for graphic design, and not be slugging my way through more studying – which is so not my first choice – but my Ausmat friends are the ones who is making everything bearable. The only reason I don’t regret joining Ausmat is because of them. From the bottom of my heart, I’m being honest. :) I know 6 more months will be worthwhile as long I have you guys. (damn I’m sounding corny –__-)

For pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=224898&id=614355438&l=c0051c5dfa

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2061097&id=1097084391&l=afaa98fe2c

To my 4 BFFs, you know me, I know you, please don’t go talking nonsense.. –__-

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

My 300th Post: Be Stupid

2010-05-09T16:38:00.001+08:00

Okay, on second thought, I’ll end WITH my 300th post. :)

When I was searching for stuff online for my Psychology assignment, Case Studies to be exact, I came across this Case Study: A New Diesel Campaign. It seems pretty interesting. ^^ Their slogan or some sort is, “Be Stupid”. Haha.

One part of the case study they mentioned how they incorporated Children, Teenagers & College life.. Hahah.. Just see..

He takes him for a ride.

Children.

Former favorite sport of mine.

Teenagers.

I know that look.

And College Life. Rofl. wtf weh.. HAHA

I’ll write down the captions they gave these pictures aite. LOL.

Don't tell me you've never tried.

Is it a trump in your hands or are you just happy to be on this page?

A Brazilian male model is hidden somewhere in this image.

The hat should always fit with the bag.

Reverse problematic illustrated.

OK - but what if we dance?

Typically a French night

Three has always been a wrong number.

I remember that night.

Kids, don't do this at home. Better smoke outside.

A variant of the Mexican duel figure.

Are dogs allowed to play with their food?

An obvious protest against body scans in airport.

Can't wait for her new profile picture.

Here’s some I found by just googling ‘Be Stupid’.. HAHA

HAHAH! So super funny weh some of them.. Till after EE! Probably 3rd week of June! :\

Can we pretend that Airplanes, in the night sky are like shooting stars. Cause I really need a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now..

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Cause Every time I Close My Eyes..

2010-04-24T23:03:00.000+08:00

You know, I WAS gonna start with a normal day to day tell-all… Then I didn’t know how to continue, or what to say… Kept going off to do other things and not having the blogging mood, but want to blog about something. So, after I bonded with my Daddy♥ watching HOUSE, I came back and so totally felt not like posting a days of my life entry, which went something like this..

“So it’s the beginning of my first ever mid-term break. Mine actually started a day earlier than the rest cause I don’t have classes on Friday, so, yeah.. I miss my AusMat family already.. ;( Anyway, since I wasn’t gonna see my friends on Firday, I decided to stay for a short while to teman my friends… Get this, we ended up singing along to In My Head & Eenie Meenie while looking at the lyrics from Galaxie. We were all thinking that NickLeong was just unfortunate to have left early. lol. Anyway..”

So you see where I was stuck. Stupid blogger’s block. Pfft… geram-ness.. Ish.. Annnyyyywaaaaayyyy….. Yeah, I’ve got one week off from college. Besides missing my Ausmatian family, I am really grateful for this holiday to really have a break. When we were young(er), we used to look forward to holidays to well, go ON holidays… But ever since form4, and definitely including now, we look forward to holidays as time to get away from it all and just chillax. Literally a break.

Even though so, I’ve got tonnes of stuff to do. “tonnes” seem a tad bit exaggerated, but it’s not a small work load either.. ;/ I’ve got assignments to start, assignments to try and finish and I’ve got topic tests to study for. Oh boohoo. x(

Assignments:

EALD – Which I feel would be fun! :) EALD is basically my fav subject here? I kinda like writing wide-ranged topic essays, so it’ll be okay. And to add sugar to top it all off, we get to analyse our choice of type of materials! From pictures, to songs and even a short video clip! Don’t think I’m doing the video clip thing though. Probably something else in the list. Oh the topic here is Pluralism & Multiculturalism. Yippie! xD
PYSCHOLOGY – Great. I almost forgot what to do. I was halfway typing that I did forget, but then I suddenly remembered. xD Hahah. Have to refer to the handout the lecturer gave and the questionnaire/survey results she posted online and do a report? I think? It’s all on the handout. xP Our topic is Assertiveness btw. Pretty cool. ;P And I like Psychology btw. It’s interesting! But, am not too good with the fact-by-fact theory stuff though. :S I’m working on it. x)
COMPUTER SCIENCE – GAWD I need to ask my ComSc classmates for help! I can do some stuff on my own, but the programming based on Debit & Credit card part? T-T I need to read up on how it works in the first place! Damnit. Haven’t read the whole handout the lecturer gave yet, so I dunno what else is there to do. T-T shiteshiteshite weh… ComSc is actually pretty interesting.. At times.. Some stuff are pretty… interesting.. I can’t find any other word to describe it. I like the lab-programming part! :S Need to buck up in ComSc. And pay more attention! The other day, I actually was sleep drawing!!!! (summarised story..)As in, I was copying stuff on the bored and before I knew it, I was half awake still copying, and the next thing I remembered was an actual dream of drawing angels and devils and when I ‘woke up’, I saw I drew (even though uuuglier than my usual drawings) some sort of angel/devil!!!!!!!!!!! I surprised myself! I was sleep drawing!!! I never knew that was possible!!! FML.

Topic Test To Study For:

1. ECONS – Remaining 15% of my first one. An essay about Protection. Something the lecturer hasn’t asked before worr.. Must. Score. Awesome. In. This. Or. I’m. Screwed. x(

2. ECONS – Second topic test. %!@#$*?%&!@#$%^&*())*&^%$#@!#$%^&*()*&^%$#@#$%^ End Of Story. I enjoy Econs class… It’s an interesting, logical topic! Something I can really relate to my daily life you know.. But, (Gawd I hate ‘but’s) again like in Psychology, It’s so theorical and factual! I have to know things fact by fact!!! And I HATE THAT!!! xS And as I said in the Psychology part again, I’m working on it!!! T-T

Thankfully, there’s nothing for ACCOUNTS & FINANCE, but nonetheless, I should read up on it too. x(

Now on to more interesting stuff. Yeah I’ve got stuff I needta do, but all work and no play makes Denise a dull girl.;) My idea of some R&R time + enjoying abit includes….

1. Watch as much of How I Met Your Mother as I possibly can. In roughly 2 days, I can finish 1 season. Well, I did do other things like going online and watching other stuff too after all. So if I didn’t, I would have watched much much more. Will watch more later and finish S2. x)

2. I dled some cool movies. Like Dirty Dancing, The Boat That Rocked, some other more recent movies which I haven’t watch. But kinda less likely I’ll watch them compared to the TV shows. :/

3. READ BOOKS! I have unfinished books to read! T-T I SO wanna read them!!! Will not list them out here though. Very tempted to, but I shouldn’t. x(

I can’t blardy find GG Epi19!!!!! I can’t FIND my usual torrent downloading site! x((((( http://kickasstorrents.com

4. LOSE WEIGHT. I’ve grown much fatter than I already am! Even my dad♥ noticed it! I asked how could he notice it even though he saw me everyday cause usually you’d only notice it if you haven’t seen that person in a while, but he said he could see it! My Godiva chocolate shown above won’t help much. But Hey! They’re 50% Cocoa! Meaning less sugar more helth-goodness right? xD And Fyi, Chocolate releases Endorphins in the brains.. xDDD Gawd isn’t Godiva expensive.. I’ve still got some Cadbury, Hershy Kisses.. And my all time favourite; Ferrero Rocher… NOOOOO!!!! x((((( Must. Control. Diet. Or. ~~Exercise.~~ No, forget ther ‘or’.. I doubt I’d exercise unless it has to do with sports with friends.. ;P

So here’s to a start of my R&R+ enjoying + work-at-my-own-pace week… I hope it’ll all go out as planned… :S

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

No Words. cries

2010-04-20T22:41:00.001+08:00

Study. Study. Exam. Exam. Shite. Shite. HOLIDAY!

*can’t wait*

They say the paper was hard! x( Damn I’m gonna dieeeee…..

Back to studying.. shiteshytshiteshyttttt….

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Tell me what you want to hear…

2010-04-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

Something that were like those years…

It’s just

You know why? Cause it’s just awesome to see you.

Screw my feelings. I’m just happy that you’re happy. :( :/

*While Predictable by Good Charlotte plays in the background*

Damn it felt GREAT to wake up 2 hours later. The DIFFERENCE in tremendous!

But I HATE parking outside. X( Walk so far ~~alone~~.

I am my worst nightmare. Argh.

That one small piece of information. I suspected it before, but never gave it a second thought to be true! Now that I know that it’s true, damn I feel pretty overwhelmed. Yeah it’s not something to be brought up and it’s already over, but all this while, of thinking absent-mindedly, a real sadness now floods through me. I feel for you man. Even if you don’t anymore. I can’t get it out of my mind. Close to tears as I may be, thank god I can control my emotions. :(

Sorry. Just blurting out random thoughts I’d like to share.

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Mental Replay

2010-04-11T22:24:00.001+08:00

I was absolutely crazy over this vid when it first came out!

Now, I am reminded of it cause Life really is more admirable with background music.

And this song has been in MY background for quite awhile now.

I so love the lyrics AND the video!

Good Charlotte RAWKS!!!

Ahh, the meanings… *sigh*

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

I replied “pick-up” lines with “pick-up” lines.

2010-04-10T00:24:00.001+08:00

TOC:

#1:My Freakin’ Ears Dying and Feeling Like Shutting Them The **** Up!

#2:

#3: Fun & Funny at College (9/4/10)

#4: A New Me. :)

#1: First: In Sunway’s library, there is a discussion area where you can well, discuss and talk at normal decibles….

You know, today while I was RUSHING to do my psychology poster, (Ian & Jo Wee had classes and Shaun was at the computers finding stuff for the poster too), I was the only one at the table. I alternated between the table and going to Shaun to help, but when one time I came back to the table which I was initially sitting alone, 2 girls and a gay guy were sitting at the other end of the table. At first I was like wtv I don’t really care if they sit there, they’re not bothering me. Or so I THOUGHT!!!! I was already stressing to finish it, and these three people were bitching about this chick named Audrey.

At first in my head I was like, “Kayy whatever, I don’t have time to eavesdrop on you..” but they kept going on and on and on about that one chick! Saying stuff like “She says she’s not pretty, just cute” , “She said said that the korean guy was talking to his friend ABOUT her in korean”, “She says she’s half Japanese”.. and they were bitching about her in full-on SENSEI BITCH MODE with all the expressions and enthusiasm. I know how that feels cause I’ve been there before*. I tell you, they bitched so much that their voices were forcing themselves in my ears and the whole time, all I wanted to do was to ask them to shut the **** up!!!! My ears were dying there wehh!! I continued to alternate with the table and Shaun, and every time I got back, they blardy haven’t changed topic!!! I so freakin’ wanted to scream at them wehh!!! ARGH!!! The gay dude summore ah, how do I know he’s gay? The exact way he was bitching this audrey. Oh and btw, he looks SO like one of the winners of Project Runway:

Argh was I frustrated.

#2: Before this, Wong Chee Keen a.k.a. Brandon Wong has been bugging me to watch How I Met Your Mother for ages. Josh too. Cheek Keen always said we’d trade with each other. I give him GG, he give me HIMYM… Hasn’t happened yet, but I recently got s1-3 from Hou Yin, and DAMN did I get hooked on it. Not really HOOKED like other TV shows, well cause HIMYM is light and so much more easier to watch! You don’t have to follow it like a cult – like how I do with GG – and it’s superbly über funny! With shows like GG and Lost ant TVD, you get an array of intense emotions and you are so serious all the time, but wtih HIMYM, it’s like a breath of fresh air! Actually Psych was too, but I never got to continue following it and stupid Starworld never put it at strategic timings… :( I like Pysch alot! :( *sigh* At least I have HIMYM now… But after I finish it all, I will dl Pysch. Oh! And another + point for HIMYM, it’s only about 20minutes! :D Can watch more! :D

#3: First time ever, I experienced Shaun’s driving. How nice of him to come all the way to my house and pick me up to and from college. And his house isn’t in the same residential area as mine! Awww…. Thanks so über much, Shaun! :) I’ll skip alot of college as it was basically doing finish Pyschology assignment, with Gay, Rao & Hou Yin coming to help/watch HIMYM…. Went lunch with them at about 1sth only, came back to college for ACF replacement class with Shaun, Jian How, Ashton, NickLeong & Min Chun! I wish I could change to ACF3 lehh.. It’s not in the morning, which will make me fall asleep summore.. Zzzz.. :( Anyway, MC was sitting infront of me, and he suddenly turned around to me and said something like, “Let me try some pick-up lines on you” and I was like, “Okay! *grins+chuckles*”

MC: “If I could rearrange the alphabets, I put U and I together"”

DT: Haha.. Not bad, not bad… I’ve got one too.. “There’s a reason why on the keyboard U and I are next to each other”

MC: (I forgot what he said but he said he had another one) “I’ve lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you tonight?”

SO sweet lah these stuff! I forgot the rest he said de… >__<”

#4: * As many of you know, in High School, I like, kau-kau bitch alot… About some people.. And it’s fun and all la especially with the right people to bitch with.. Haha.. Anyway, ever since I started college, that part of me, which was fueled by anger and frustration, has slowly died down. Not that I don’t or no longer get angry or frustrated at people, but with my new superbly awesome college friends, I don’t see any need to be! I so don’t see anything bad in them. Yeah, nobody’s perfect, but they haven’t shown me any reason bad enough for me to get really angry at them. So far, no one has pushed any wrong buttons… Just the right ones for me.. :) Furthermore, I have had enough ~~shyt~~ in high school to last a lifetime! Any more in college will make me explode! So Fyi, I am not scared to bitch about people, to anybody who thinks so, but that side of me has ceased to exist. I don’t feel like it anymore. Yeah, I’ve changed. And I do believe that it is for the better. :) I will live life happier than I’ve ever lived before – and that’s saying something- and my days won’t be filled with negativity. I will not ~~advise~~ people not to bitch about other people, but just don’t expect me to join in. I will listen quietly, and I definitely will not be going around telling people that they’re bitched about.(Cause that is indirect bitching too ;( ) As I’ve mentioned in the post Life As We Know It , I have closed that chapter of my life and it has definitely ceased to exist.

Till next time when I decide to update.

My next very near future post will be a vid. :)

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

Emo-fied

2010-04-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

ETMTH

That sounds as if it’s supposed to say TMNT(Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) … –__-

For many of you who don’t know, it actually stands for:

Extremely Too Much To Handle

Damn. What an Emo-fied week.

Zomg this week has been SUCH an emotional roller coaster. And unlike 99.99% of you, I am one of the 0.01% who HATES roller coasters. YES PEOPLE, you read COREECT. I absolutely HATE them. When you feel adrenalin rushes from the high drops, I just feel my heart exploding. End of story. So back to what I was saying, This week I enjoyed myself so extremely much, and I also felt at my very most bottom.

First time EVER I let someone else besides myself, drive my car in college on Monday. Choon wanted to go home so badly to play mahjong with his friends, but his car was parked at the duplex (quite a walk away) whereas my car was parked in the college’s parking. And it was raining, and after much debate, I allowed him to drive my car out, fetch his friends and I at college and to duplex. Super different seeing him drive my car. –.-“ But it was an EXPERIENCE.. ;D

There was a fire drill at coll on Tuesday, so my friends & I faster cabut before they closed the gates. Met Crys & CM for lunch at some shiteassfar place which didn’t RECORD MY order. (So I ended up not eating). Met Crys’ college friends & my cousin, Leyi too. Met Rine later, and fetched Rine & Crys home. That day I got something which NEVER in my RIGHT MIND I would expect getting. Even though I KNEW it was a small thing, but it kinda traumatized me? It was way overwhelming. I felt so shaken up. :( What’s worse was that I was kau-kau enjoying that day but after I got it my entire mood ruined. :(((

On Wed, the highlight of my day was walking to Pyramid for my first time. ;P And releasing my inner child within, along with Kat’s, Keegan’s & Hou’s ones of course, when they bought ice cream from Baskin Robbins and we played with the dry ice. XD

Lunch with Yanchi, Choon, ChunKit, Josh & Blake on Thurs was damn damn funny. –__- For SOME UNEXPLAINED REASON, we were openly talking about sex. wth. Worse regarding a KIND while we were EATING. gAhahHAhHAhahHA… That was superbly crazy larh..

Went coll on Friday even though didn’t have class for EALD group discussion. Rine :) & her friend came and I got to show her SUC!! Woohoohoohoo…. ;P Cool lehh… XP Later Rine :) & I walked to Pyramid with Gay, Hou & Rao. Met Crys & her coll friends again. Gay, Hou, Rao & I watched It’s Complicated which was SOOOOO LMFAO.. ;P Ohya! We saw the couples seats were empty so we took them. Gay & I were ‘lesbos’ and Rao & Hou were ‘gays’… The guy pair isn’t so hard to believe. XD HAHAHA… Anyway, the show was nice and when we came out, the shuttle bus was nagm ngam there! I followed them back to coll as Rine & Crys went to their college and I couldn’t follow them. hmph. :( Then there was abit of watching the guys play bball, and Gay & I discussing Blue Whale’s belly button.. ;P and Talking & laughing with Dheep, Yanchi, Lawrence & Blake in the foyer while waiting for mum. Lotsa other stuff at home. which just added insult to injury =’(

Woke up on Saturday feeling damn emo from the night before. Emo was just the word lah. Nothing else to describe how I felt. :( Went Seremban in the afternoon. Good thing was, the car ride nap eased up my mood. Met Chee Keen & family. After dinner went Jusco. Less emo. Healing. Watched Gossip Girl S03E16.

Today I woke up 6sth and I remembered my dream from that night. DAMN was it SCARY. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare as it wasn’t like any typical nightmares, but it was so…. devastating. You know most dreams you wake up and don’t remember most of the details? Well, THIS dream in particular I REMEMBERED most of it. –__- I dreamt that someone I cared for dearly PASSED AWAY in a nasty accident. I shall not say the name here, as it just seems WRONG! TOUCH WOOD mann! But they say, if you dream of someone dying, that person would live longer. :) Well, I remember crying and crying in that dream, and as I KNOW how it feels like to LOSE someone, I actually FELT it in my dream! It felt SO REAL! I almost made myself cry in real life thinking about it! The spooky part was, that some parts in my dream, I really BELIEVED that that person died! – As in i KNEW(thought) it wasn’t a dream! SCARY I KNOW! – Anyway, I went Ching Ming around 7sth. By 9sth we were back at my grandparents’ house already. Was damn tired so I slept on the couch while the rest watched Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief. :( Wish I have the show. Really wanna watch it. Came home to KL in the afternoon and did my own stuff. I had *visitors* at night, just for a couple of hours. Even though so, THANK YOU my visitors! YOU MADE MY DAY! LOVE YOU!!!

*Sigh*

What a mixed-feelings week. College in a few hours. *sobs*

.x.X.Nise.X.x.

btw, Carrine bolded her name. –.-

A Beautiful Mess

I don’t want to go through with this. I wish they were here.

Aren’t you a charmer..

Love is insane

To the moments I hardly remember, With the people I’ll never forget

If you love me let me go back to the bar in Tokyo

Why do I do this to myself? ><

Denise 101:

I wish I was more

Nothing more needed, Nothing more possible.

When the thin line between Pain & Pleasure becomes blurry

I am ready. I’m just waiting for you.

One thing you should know,

You are my sweetest downfall

it’s not always rainbows and butterflies

So here’s the thing;

The awkward moment when you dedicate a post to a boat.

cause you’re f*cking crazy rock and roll.

more irrelevancy which just might have its good points.

not really a post.

There’s no life to live in, without this world

Tough Love

Six weeks aye.

It’s in my blood.

I will not conform to your social beliefs

Fairy Lights light up my sky.

We’re the kids of America, Wo-oh!

I see the sun!

Something light to keep my mind off things

Au contraire, my gazillionaire.

Hey Summer

Oh My December.

96 hours of bliss, bumps and a blast.

Isn’t it just awesome?

You don’t have to Cry Me Out.

What are we?

Just for the sake of a gif.

Love

Think outside the box and read between the lines.To err is human, to forgive divine.

Ménage à trois

I better find your ♥

I set my clocks early cause I know, I’m always late

Gut Feeling

What is a Denise?

I’m writing my own history.

When there's time, You'll be mine.

My Gooey Centre

You Say Goodbye, And I Say Hello.

My 300th Post: Be Stupid

Cause Every time I Close My Eyes..

No Words. *cries*

Tell me what you want to hear…

Mental Replay

I replied “pick-up” lines with “pick-up” lines.

Emo-fied

No Words. cries